When I’d spoke to his ex wife

[Anonymous]

She had told me he once (detail removed by moderator) this is when I were with him so he’s probably (detail removed by moderator) and sent them on purpose deliberately to make her upset… looking back they were so much I didn’t trust about him he were dating while going through divorce.. he practically told me his life story on the first date…wanted me to see his son in the first couple of weeks bombarded me with photos of his son aswell…he played on my abusive past and said (detail removed by moderator) when I called him out on things. He told me he left the family home of his own accord…only for me to find out of his ex she had got a non .olestatiin order on him… she said when she were ill once she thought he wanted her dead……

[Lisa]

Hello Icandothis,

Thank you for your post. It sounds like a lot of the lies and false narratives that you have heard from him are coming back up for you.

The things we are led to believe about how our partners previous relationships played out play a big part in the image we create of them. Abusers will often play the victim, doting father, or ‘rescuer’ at the beginning of the relationship to create a false image of themselves before the mask begins to slip and we see their true colours. It can be difficult coming to terms with the idea that that version of this man doesn’t exist but when we accept this, it can be a huge step in breaking away from the relationship for good.

I imagine there is some frustration or anger around this and that is understandable. Thanks again for sharing what’s going on for you.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[gettingtired]

Toxic people are compulsive liars and they use absolutely everything they can to always frame themselves as the victim. As people with morals, it’s very difficult for us to get our heads around x

[Author]

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