This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  KIP. 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #115087
     looloo 
    Participant

    Iv been out my relationship for a while now and after having the time to look back and reflect, I notice a lot was wrong and I’m glad I’m out. I still have moments where certain things such as smells and films remind me of my ex. However, I have more good days then bad now and I cant remember the last time I cried! Which is huge.

    I am here today as I recently have been having the same question in my head over and over, when and how will i know if im ready to date again and going forward how will dating be for someone whos been in a abusive relationship? I have been speaking to someone and they seem great, the conversation is never hard, we shave such deep, open conversations and they mentioned a date. Instantly i feel bad for enjoying the attention of this person and feel bad for even considering a date with someone else so soon. I feel as if i am betraying my ex even though we are no longer together.

    looking for any advise or similar experiences. am i alone or is this normal?

  • #115091
     KIP. 
    Participant

    You’re still extremely vulnerable. The fact you still feel guilty is a huge warning sign that you’re still emotionally attached to your ex. Women’s Aid recommend 2 years. I suppose that depends on the length of the relationship and the damage done. You need to heal and also regain your confidence and understand abuse. Have you done the Freedom Programme with women’s aid. I’d highly recommend it. It teaches us about the red flags and how to spot an abuser. It will also boost your confidence. It took me many years but while you ex is still taking up headspace and emotional energy it’s not wise to get involved in a new relationship. Everyone is different but I can tell by your post you’re still vulnerable because I’ve been through the stages of recovery x Whatever you decide please take time for yourself. Be your own best friend and dint look to others to make you feel better. You need to be able to self heal first x

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