When will it stop?

[Cantmakedecisons]

For anyone who knows my story it’s been a looooooong journey but I’m still not at my destination.

I left, I went back x 10 but I finally left and since life has been testing me.

He won’t accept it’s over and my whole life is consumed with him either still controlling or scaring me – he enjoys it.

I have my own place that’s rented but he likes to remind me often that his still around. I’m tired! So tired that I often question the point.

I’ve been through the guilt of leaving, separating our family etc but now I’m just left in fear by myself.

It’s the last step that I need to overcome! Reporting it all in its bare truth. There’s history and previous emergency reports, his been arrested before but no one really knows the dirty truth of it all and I’m afraid that by telling my story will lead to him not just being punished but literally ruined. I know I should care about that but I do for our children’s sake. I feel like I’ve tried everything but still he keeps pushing and pushing.

I just want it to stop so I can sleep.

[Bettertimesahead]

I empathise, I get it. My ex is awaiting sentencing and (removed by moderator). Already got himself a criminal record from the circumstances when we finished. Can’t get my head round how it’s got to this but I tell myself that all I have done is speak the truth and asked for justice. He still thinks he can come back , never expressed remorse or regret. Do not be afraid to report , you deserve the right to be free

[Cantmakedecisons]

Thank you for responding.. do you have children? What was reporting really like?

I need my life back

[Bettertimesahead]

I have adult children so in some ways easier although with hindsight I wish I’d done something earlier. They are still at home and have no contact with their dad and don’t want it. The house is happier, cleaner, nicer without him. Reporting the first time was taken out of my hands, other emergency services called the police. I have had excellent support from a local da charity. However I have reported every single breach of non mol order and bail conditions since. If he is going to ignore the law I will ensure its reported. He knows exactly what he’s doing but thinks I’ll back down but no more. Police have been good and witness care too.
It’s a journey I wish I didn’t have to take but it is a journey to a happier life. I’m way off getting closure and sorting finances and sometimes I struggle to keep fighting , but we all deserve more and so do you

[Cantmakedecisons]

Thank you. I still have a younger child and I worry if the impact on them and my older children.

Can I ask you said “other emergency services called the police” what happened?

Also how do you report every breach? 101?

[Watersprite]

Hey I really get this too The best bit of advice I was given and this is only for women who have left was every time he crosses a boundary you have to put up a higher one and keep on going. So report breaches, call police get things logged even if not always a great response as it all adds up and shows who they really are. But even more than that pour all the love and kindness you poured into him into you. I struggle with that these processes take up so much head space don’t they? Sometimes I can switch off other times it’s like he is in my head again? Still as you say steps to happy free authentic lives and I’m also loving a safe happy cleaner calmer home 😊

[Bettertimesahead]

Yes I reported via 101 on the phone.
Be prepared to give statements. Re the other services it was the (detail removed by moderator).
Re your children. They deserve a happy mother and you deserve to be happy. They may not understand now and I get your reservations but my biggest regret is waiting as long as I did

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