Where have I gone ?

[Mellow]

I’ve only known about this n********m 3 weeks I didn’t know he had it we’ve been together years have kids and married I now feel lost upset my whole life was about me and my family now it feels like a lie,he planned kids with me we have children .I feel depressed now and I hate men I just want to use them and abuse them I feel like that’s what I should have been doing all these years.this is not my first time in a bad relationship like this or the first time I’ve been abused in some way .I’m upset at how my life has turned out feel like I’ve got nothing will be trapped forever with him.I was abused when I left school not by a narc but at work .it dosent take long when he’s got what he wants he’s back on phone in seconds I’m finding it hard getting my head round this I keep chasing after him despite my research and wondering why why me?why did I get this Ill man?why was I soo blind.I’m crying at all this because my life has become a lie in a matter of weeks .the signs I never saw are there now.how can I keep living this why would my kids have to go through life with him they will notice I have to keep telling them when daddy’s wrong .when I leave it will be harder .some things he gets angry at are silly things it’s like I’m with a toddler.

[Newgirl]

Hey honey the realisation was one of the hardest parts for me to accept but trust me this is not your fault! We don’t choose their behaviours. I too have been with mine for years but I refused to marry him making excuses like it’s not worth the money etc. i too have kids but they are not little any more and none of mine sees it and knows I have been covering for him it has caused some mental health for them tho. Just take each day as it comes one step at a time give yourself time to accept it and then what you want to do x it’s ok we are all here for you x I haven’t left yet but I have in my head and I feel so good at the moment because of that alone so honestly you can get there you are not trapped x keep posting lovely x you are amazing! ❤️

[Mellow]

I’m trying to leave but the threats and insults are daily as I step through the door I think he’s deluded I thought mine didn’t see it but they do I tell them things without thinking and they even say the behaviour is not right and mine are very young but they know right from wrong in behaviour I’ve probably overshared problems

[Author]

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