- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by Anonymous.
27th May 2022 at 11:40 am #144384
Hello to all of you amazing women ❤️
When I joined this forum is was so confused, lost and unsure if my husband of over (detail removed by moderator) was actually abusive.
I am some months on now and about to start the final part of my journey to be free of my ex, I never ever thought I would get here mentally. I would read positive stories on here and think I could never get out of the depression, the guilt, shame.. . I didn’t believe I was strong enough to get through this.
I am stronger now. I see him for what he is. I am worth more than what he did to me and our children. I will not talk to him, acknowledge him no matter what he throws my way as he is unimportant to me now.
Both our (detail removed by moderator) children, who were/are affected by their fathers behaviour, they are also getting stronger and they understand what has happened and why. They have made their own minds up without any input from Me. They decided not to see their dad for their own reasons.
So the final battle will commence soon and then I can move on.
Money worries are not as worrying for me now as I am used to being on my own and I have got this, I can do it…
For all of you who know my story, who helped me, messaged and helped educate me as to what DA/DV/SA is… thank you ❤ if I can do it you really can, I am older and I am so relieved I got out when I did as I had nearly lost all of me to my abusive husband. As for having children with him, they are better off without that abusive t**t in their lives, because he is their dad gives him no rights as he is an abuser, so why would they want to see him and why would I want them to be around him 🤔 I don’t, I don’t want my children around any abuser ever again.
My children and I live in the family house, his ghost is here.. I mean everywhere I go I see him (he was always here, always for over (detail removed by moderator)) so I made a space in my garden, a new space/shed and I decorated it. We now have a space which has no ghosts and it is a start, at the least it is a safe spot which I made whilst we are still living here.
Love to you all wherever you are on this journey for freedom and an abuse free life ❤
27th May 2022 at 11:44 am #144385
When I say money worries are not so bad as the abuse worries, I mean, yes I am strapped for money. I go to food banks for now and I grateful. Me and kids have adjusted. It took time (it was especially difficult when I was still pining for him like an addict wants there drugs.. same feeling..
So yes we do not have a lot of money and life certainly isn’t stable yet but it will be no matter how the dice falls, we are still better off and no longer walk on eggshells 😊
27th May 2022 at 12:48 pm #144388beachhutParticipant
Well done you, how nice to hear that you and your children are moving on, we do understand that things will obviously still be difficult but they are so much more manageable when you are out of a toxic relationship, when you head is not being manipulated and you have space to heal things do get better, it is surprising how little you actually need and what you can do without when you have the space to think and breath and start to see the woman you once were looking back at you in the mirror. Take care of you. Xx
27th May 2022 at 1:16 pm #144391
Awww Beachhut, thank you for your kind words which are true, I am finding myself again and this part of the process feels easier tbh. You are right in that I no longer need the same things I thought I needed before… we may not go on holidays and I cannot buy expensive gifts like I once could and that’s fine, the materialistic do not matter to me now. Lots of love xx
29th May 2022 at 5:57 am #144445AnonymousInactive
Well done here for help glad to hear your thriving and the kids aren’t getting twisted up and mind gamed by him, there’s always gonna be ghosts of them wherever we are (kind of haunting us) but we don’t have the toxic repetitive bull, fear, vulnerability and self disgust as strongly as it was when they were in our lives and that’s something to be grateful for. Keep thriving
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