Where to go if nowhere to go

[Spacedout]

Nearly a decade has gone past in my life living in this Misery

I have nowhere to go, little money as I pay for everything, this is his home, council owned.

What is the process of contacting womens aid to them helping and maybe giving me a place to stay, I work nights. (Detail removed by moderator). Due to my mental health. But I have a monthly wage. I pay half of the rent in his home, I know I can’t afford full rent on my own. I was living at my moms (was a bad relationship to),met him, moved in, lost everything.. I have noone to talk to. To be honest I can’t even talk anymore my anxiety is a mess.

Man it’s tiring.

Even the thought of leaving is tiring, I’m exhausted

Anyone else got help through womens aid
What happened?, what was it like?, can you get therapy? where are you now? Have you found a permanent place to live?

I have no kids with him
I have noone to ask if I can stay as he’s distanced me so far from everyone that we lost touch

I’m at a loss, I don’t want to live on the streets

[Lisa]

Dear Spacedout,

I’m sorry to hear how you’re feeling. Living with long term abuse is incredibly exhausting and it sounds like you’re reaching the point where you know something has to change. I’m sure some of the forum users will be along to share their experience of leaving, so I’ll just run through the ways in which you can access support.

If you don’t feel up to talking yet you can use our Live Chat service to chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence. You could ask them to explain the process of leaving and going to a refuge, and explain the referral process, they could also do a refuge search for you.
You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

You can read more about going to a refuge in the Survivor’s Handbook here. You mention therapy- in a refuge you can normally be given information about counselling or therapy services available. There are often peer support groups too.

When you feel up to talking, you could contact a local domestic abuse service to ask if they can offer some ongoing support to help you to make a safe plan for leaving. Or ask if they can signpost you to counselling services.
You can find if there is a local service in your area by clicking on the following link: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

Alternatively if you would prefer to talk to someone on the National Domestic Abuse Helpline you can do so by calling 0808 2000 247. A female support worker would be able to talk to you about housing and do a refuge search for you if you decide to go down that route.

Please be reassured that there is support available for you, keep posting,

Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Spacedout

As you’ve found abuse can be such an isolating experience. I hope you will feel that by coming here now you are not alone. The women here have experienced many of the things you’ve suffered, and isolation can be up there with the worst. To feel so alone whilst you actually live with someone is quite a feat on the part of the abuser.

So sorry you have been under this for so long. I just wanted to send you some support and strength to keep going to this next step, to finally relieve yourself of this awful drain on you.

I hope you feel you can access those links and supports that Lisa has posted, and that you feelyou can keep coming back here to post more as you go through this process.

Presumably you would also be able to make enquiries of the council about your situation. I don’t know what the rules are, but if you are currently paying basically his rent for him, or half of it, the council may be able to place you in your own place because of the abuse meaning you need to leave?

Welcome and I hope you feel the support you need.

warmest wishes

ts

[Bananaboat]

Contact your local council, domestic abuse can be a reason for being classed as homeless even whilst you’re still in his property. Look after yourself x

[Author]

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