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My mum is becoming so difficult to handle, she won’t seek help for severe PTSD and rings me multiple times a day to have the same conversation/ argument. I am so exhausted and I am letting my abusive husband comfort me as I have no one else.
He seems so genuinely sorry for me in so much pain, it has come right after I explained that how he treats me is abusive. He is in shock, rethinking his entire life it seems and actively seeking relevant counselling, he’s letting me fix things that are wrong, but I feel like a clock has started until things deteriorate again.
Why is it that some people are surrounded by those who look out for them where I am disregarded or drained dry in every relationship I have, that must be me. There must be something so broken that people just take what they need and leave me, they do t care.
I am trying so d**n hard to get everything in order and be fair and kind but I feel like I’m disintegrating.
How have I left my life come to this. It’s just always so hard.
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Please don’t delete!
You’re quite entitled to moan. Sounds like you’re having a really difficult time with what’s going on.
I can totally relate to the ticking clock of when things are going to deteriorate. Have you googled the cycle of abuse? Keeping a journal also helps to see the patterns.I can also relate to you feeling like others have people looking after them and not much trouble. In fact, I’ve started to feel a bit bitter. I’m a very caring person always thinking of others yet I get walked over. I’m sure you are an empath too. It seems to be the norm on this forum that the women here are all very kind and compassionate.
You’re doing great, please keep posting. I felt the same like I’m just moaning but Lisa the moderator says it helps for other women to read posts. Xx
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Sounds like you’re sick of being the only one to give and that you’re not fully aware you have choices, feel you need to tolerate this, put up with those who only take in your life. Took me a few years but I only surround myself with those who care, make me smile, are kind, those I love and respect – I don’t get any drama these days as result. My mum has also always been difficult, I accept she is the way she is and that our relationship can only ever be functioning at a low level at best. I have clear, firm boundaries with her, I have to, otherwise she will walk all over me, she now knows what is ok and what is not ok with me, I simply don’t respond to her BS narrative, her delusions, the false perception she has of me and others or anything that is less than respectful, she’s learnt to hold her tongue these days as she wants me in her life and she knows that this is how she needs to be if she wants this.
I would put them both aside if I were you, for a while, so you can attend to yourself, give yourself the space you need, you can do without them hey, its them that need you, you could quite easily live with minimum contact or no contact at all. It really doesn’t need to be like this and you do have and hold the power to change things x
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Getting tired, the cycle of abuse is exactly what is going on. Thank you for your support x
He’s done some research now and is talking about his narc/abusive traits almost constantly and is really trying hard. I said to him (detail removed by moderator). He actually agrees with me, but I still don’t think it will help.It also feels like now every second is dedicated to talking about him, and he’s feeling very sorry for himself.
Dizzy ken I’m sorry you’re mum is like that too, it’s so draining having to be the parent to your own parent.
I feel lucky in any case to meet so many strong women here managing and being so kind despite all this ugliness and pain xx
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