Why are professionals so thick?

[savingthestars]

My child is wetting herself in the day now. The school says she is confused because she doesn’t understand that she has two homes. I have told the school that it is affecting my child because he is not who he says and does not parent the child, (detail removed by moderator). They now want me to go to TAC meetings with him, in the same room. All the while my child is saying things like “(detail removed by moderator), but this is normal behaviour for a school child. She asked me if the child wets the bed at his house, and I said I cant trust him to give me an honest answer, and the head of safeguarding believes that he will tell them the truth. I want to smash my head open!!!!

[Iwantmeback]

Log all the behaviour that your child is doing, see your doctor, voice the problems with them. Maybe the school will listen to another professional. You don’t have to do those meetings with him in the same room. Voice why and stick to it. Your job is to protect your child not make their job easier. Diymum might be able to point you in the right direction regarding this.💞💞

[savingthestars]

I guess you are right. I guess the amount of time this is taking is just getting to me. I have contacted a team to try and get the child counselling away from school, because I think he has probably told her he has ears there, especially as they are obviously easily … bought round by the Powerpoint persona if that makes sense?

[diymum@1]

Wetting in the day and bed wetting is a sign off stress. Kids do internalise everything and they blame themselves for their dads behaviour sometimes they blame us because it’s easier. So it’s honestly best to address this with someone specific to dv. The school my daughter is at is old school I turned to them for help and was shunned so I sought counselling for my daughter that was recommended to me. It took 8 sessions but we learned a lot about how she really felt and were able to document it in dialogue form for court. I wasn’t present during the last few sessions to show I was not influencing what my daughter was saying. This was the truth and she helped my daughter unfold her feelings and admit them. She had thought about harming her self he was being derogatory when he was alone with her. The thing is we know how hard it is to get over being abused and the duration off abuse makes it harder to recover. She’s showing these signs it’s a cry for help is stop contact and reach out to the best team who will help. If the school seem behind the times ditch the idea and he will just have to deal with that. It’s not about his needs it’s all about your kid that’s what matters the only thing that matters xx 😘

[diymum@1]

I should say now my daughter is flourishing she is much happier and growing in confidence. She has her moments don’t get me wrong but I know she will go out into the world stronger wiser and able to deal with what life dishes out xx kids are more resilient than we think children

[fizzylem]

In our case, school tended to not want to get involved. I too spoke to the schools head of safeguarding and felt she wasnt hearing me; I always got the impression they wanted as little involvement as possible with anything that goes on outside of school unless it becomes glaring obvious there is a safeguarding issue and they have to respond, but it really does need to be glaring obvious for this to happen.

I know you are angry, I get this too, what is obvious to you and me, us, can go unoticed by ohters – even those who work with children, theyre safeguarding procedures only cover sexual abuse and violence, anything else and forget it – its the disputing parents that are causing the problems here in their eyes. Trust your gut, she’s your child you know her best.

I think you may be looking for support in the wrong places? Do you have local WA support worker that could help? Some branches also help children.

Also, I’m thinking you are the primary carer yes? So if you dont feel its safe to send her then dont. It does seem she is not feeling safe in the world and thus wetting herself – but this said it could be something else as well; its always so hard to work out what is going on but what we do know is there is a problem of some kind if this is happening hey and this alone should lead profs into a line of enquiry – sadly this is not always what happens though, you need someone switched on.

The problem is they view this as something in isolation – look for other odd behaviours and things she says as well. Play with her and let her direct the play, children will play out what they are thinking, the problems they are experiencing and dont even realise they are doing this in their play – so it’s safe to do so – might give you some more info. Counselling may help hey if she feels she likes the counsellor and can speak freely – smart move taking her out of school for this x

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