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I’ve been left for (detail removed by moderator) and still so very confused. Even though it was physical I still find it difficult to believe that it was abuse. I attend journey to freedom and I’ve been struck at how much all the other women hate their abuser and I don’t if anything I feel bad for him as I’ve ruined his life. The other thing that confuses me was that the physical abuse stopped years ago and then started up recently. I know that over all he was very controlling but I think I got used to it as the status quo. I don’t understand how he could stop hitting me for years and then start up again. And maybe it was a once off and if I hadn’t left things may have been ok. I don’t know this is all so hard.
You haven’t ruined his life. If his life was ruined it was by his own actions. My ex didn’t hit me because he didn’t have to. He was in control by just threatening me. His behaviour changed many times over the decades. I don’t hate my ex. I have every right to hate him but he is not my responsibility any more. Dont try to work out their behaviour. Just know that it’s dysfunctional.
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