Whether they are not able to have empathy or they choose not to – not matter because it all comes right at you and you ask this question? I liken it to we are like a voodoo doll to them in that, they feel something even remotely like guilt or shame and they immediately turn to us and stick us with the pin instead of feeling it themselves. They transfer all of it to us because it’s bothersome for them and they get to see us dance about taking it on. Some of these people like KIP said actually derive pleasure from it and you want to get as far away as possible from people like that.
Good that you said what you said to him!! This trait is just horrendous and a big warning sign/flag that you want to see flying like you are doing and get away from it, from them. Thing is – their brain works differently alot of times so we’d have to be inside their brain (scary thought) to see the how and why of it. To me, I don’t need to put them on the table and examine them, I see clearly that bad behavior is bad behavior and I don’t want it in my life, won’t have it. Empathetic people will never truly understand because all we have to go on is how we think and what we are driven by. Alot of people I have talked to like this would say – I don’t know, just felt like it. I’d say but didn’t it bother you that you did this to me? They’d go, no, not really. Of course it was entertaining for some of these people and I could see that. Gave them something to do…. Don’t need any of it in my life now and am quick to let them know about it right off the bat.