why do certain organisations (not WA) assume you have ‘family support’?

[freedomtochoose]

Not understanding the complexities of what happens with abuse in families….?
So frustrated that people certain people dont’ seem to get it..

all best
ftc
x

[KIP.]

Yep, I had the doctor ask how my son was. My adult son who took his dad’s side and I have no contact with. I think moments like these give us the opportunity to explain without shame how we are affected. But only when we are pretty much along the recovery road. How do you explain to someone that your child triggers your trauma? Much more awareness needed x I explained calmly about how my ex had paid for my son to move out, had involved him in the divorce and was now solely financially depended on him. Maybe next time she will tread carefully x

[HopeLifeJoy]

That’s strong KIP well done! She won’t ask you the same question twice as I’m sure it’s engraved in her memory quite vividly now.

People out there do not have the same knowledge and awareness as we do about domestic abuse, we had to learn and find out as much as possible about these dynamics in order to protect ourselves, wouldn’t it be nice now to get a degree for it ☺️ 👩‍🎓

[KIP.]

👏 yes I would sign up for that degree course. In fact I could teach it 😂

[HopeLifeJoy]

Lol yes you could indeed 😄 you’re so witty as well, knowledge and wittiness = good combination for teaching 😎🤓

[EbonyRaven]

The only family support I have is my lovely daughter who wants me to go and live near her and her partner now. It took me several weeks before I could begin to tell her what had happened, as I really didn’t want to burden her with it. I’ve only told her the bare minimum as it is. Parents should be the ones supporting.

I got asked just that question very recently by the police. Why didn’t you tell any of your friends or family? I was astounded. Really? I’m going to tell my daughter about sexual stuff? I’m going to casually bring it up over a cup of tea with my elderly parents when my father had suffered some really bad illnesses that were traumatic for us all? Then they both died.

I’m going to message my cousin that I only see through their posts on Facebook, with the news that my husband causes me pain and really doesn’t care?

What friends, I wanted to ask them, the ones that were driven away, or the ones that I quietly let slip away to save myself from the grief of accusations and tantrums?

It’s lovely that they think having a support network is a normal thing, and that they must have that in place themselves to not have it occur to them it’s not like that for everyone. But heck they need some eye-opening.

[HopeLifeJoy]

Oh she’s so lovely isn’t she your daughter, kind hearted 😌
No of course you don’t want to burden her, I too think the parents are here for the children not the other way around, unless you get very old and when they do request geographical effectiveness to lift their logistics to be able to better take care of you, I would oblige them.

These people would be shocked to find out how little support they actually can count on if they would go through half of what we’ve gone through, that in fact most family&friends are ‘sunshine’ friends meaning they’re here for us only when things go relatively well.

It’s one tough way to weed out the people in your social life that can’t be there for you when needing support in handling a difficult situation.

[NewWings]

Thanks for bringing attention to this. I truly belief that only those who have gone through this really understand. By the time I managed to find my voice I was (detail removed by moderator) years too late. He’d been trashing me to my family drop by poisonous little drop. My sister was unable to the resist the catnip of his description of my horrendous behaviour, we no longer speak. I have lost everything but have regained myself. He still tries to control, the latest trying to guilt me by asking me to (detail removed by moderator). He has obviously found parenting our grown children extraordinarily difficult. God help them they believe he will buy them a flat but I’m convinced that he will live with his gf. My family think he’s great and yet he’s badmouthing them in front our kids. What goes on behind people’s front doors is a mystery to most unless were invited in. But it does surprise me that people who you would think would understand what coercive and manipulative behaviour can do or even is seem surprised to hear that family can be duped. I see bullies in my line of work and they are usually the ones that go and say they are the victim to figures of authority. My ex even managed to manipulate someone at my place of work to lie about me. Despite saying that I had done certain things to them yet there was no one who would back them up despite a roomful of witnesses. So it was dropped. I know it was my ex because he alluded to it. Of course if I’d said anything he’d have pointed out that I have mental health issues. So there’s another reason women keep quiet. We have learnt that in a mans world it is very hard for a woman to be heard. And now women are told they have to surrender their phones in a rape cases. Sometimes my mind flips at the stupidity of certain organisations is it any wonder that there are still so many conspiracy theorists out there.

[freedomtochoose]

Hello,
yes, just to say I was shocked at that as well.
I hope to goodness that objectioons to that come up (the phone thing).
So hard to navigate these things.
ftc
x

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