Why do I hesitate?

[Ayanna]

I still have not reported him to the police for what he has done recently.
I feel such a gut wrenching horror by the mere thought that I should talk about him to the police.
Everything is so present again, as if it had just happened.
Actually it was already some years ago this year.
Why did he have to interfere with my life again?
Out of principle I should report him.
I should be a warrior queen, an unforgiving female goddess who smashes abusive males.
I owe it to all the women who are too scared to report abusive men to the police.
I am a warrior queen and I need to be a role model.
I have to proof that abuse is not forgiven and that perpetrators are being held accountable by strong women like me.
I have to show my sisters that perpetrators have to pay for their wrongdoings and that we have the power to make them pay.
Oh well, I am building myself up…
(Detail removed by moderator). 
Then I will go to the police.
I am afraid of what will happen with me afterwards, I really am.

[EeyoreNoMore]

Ayanna, you hesitate because you are human.

You ARE the resident Warrior Queen here, have no doubt about that!

Don’t be hard on yourself. Go with what you want to do when you are ready xx

[Anonymous]

Hi Ayanna you hesitate because you are human and also because you are probably afraid they won’t believe you and you are not weak or letting anyone down, you already feel fear through him and everyone here understands that. You’re not letting anyone down everyone understands too. Xx

[Ayanna]

Thank you both.
I pulled myself together and spoke to the police today.
They were friendly and understanding, but they said I cannot report him for that.
He gets away again.
This time it is a petty crime.
These male abusers, they really can do what they want.

[KIP.]

Well done for reporting it. Its logged with the police now and you know you have the strength to do it every time.

[Ayanna]

Thank you KIP.
Yes, this was somehow an icebreaker.

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Ayanna,

I know the feeling, I finally went to the police myself recently and it was a bit disappointing as they didn’t know much at all about Coercive Control, but I my ex got a warning and can no longer contact me without consequences, so I see it as a good outcome overall.

Like you I like the idea of us holding these men accountable for their abusive actions, and protecting other women from them in future. Both these men have had these incidents logged this week, which is a step in the right direction at least, and it took guts for us to go and report them given the fear they instill in us.

[hurtnomore]

Hi Ayanna,

I am also scared to go to the police. a witness saw him being abusive and they come to check if i was ok. my number plate then flagged up 2 reported assaults on me. i have told them i do not want to say anything but they have told me they are going to keep the case open. I hate the fact i am going through all of this because of him and he is just walking around like nothing has happend. I am scared because he will go straight to prison as he is serving a (detail removed by moderator) suspended sentence for his last girlfriend. I just dont know what to do 🙁 its so tough! your post really just made me think x

[Ayanna]

Hurtnomore, report him!
What better could happen for you than him going straight to jail!
That is superb!
They are waiting for you!
Do it!!!

The incident that I tried to report was just a petty crime and it was no direct contact, just indirect, not at all as serious as yours!

[Author]

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