Why do they so this?!

[smallbutbrave]

So i have been ignored, silent treatment since (detail removed by moderator) why? Well i do but i havn’t atcually done anything wrong. i have ignored this childlike behaviour (detail removed by moderator) called me a liar!! I asked ‘What have i lied about?’ He says nothing don’t worry just go to sleep…I asked a few more times and i must admit i was getting rather frustrated (i havn’t lied about anything i have so idea whatsoever what he is on about!! And guess what this morning before he left silent treatment again.

Can not take this!!

Why do they do this??

[Escapee]

Oh don’t they just love to play with our heads!

Mine did exactly the same to me.

I swear they don’t really know the meaning of Liar…..they just make themselves look like idiots.

And then, if we’re not liars, we’re selfish or untrustworthy or self absorbed.

Have you spoken to WA about getting out safely?

I really feel for you going through this, it’s nasty and insidious.

X*x

[KIP.]

He’s fishing. These men are liars and cheats so they think everyone else is. My ex used to accuse me of exactly what he was doing. If you listen to him properly you will hear him confessing what he’s been doing. If he’s calling you liar, he’s lying. If he’s accusing you of cheating, he’s cheating. That’s how my life went. They also think they can read our body language so they throw out accusations hoping to catch us out. It really must be tiring for them. I know it was for me x

[smallbutbrave]

(detail removed by moderator) So he then accuses me of lying abiut other guys…asking me about one guy i knew way back (before him) asking if we has slept together (we never did, we was just friends) He doesn not belueve me…Kicks off then tells me he has been trying to find this guy on social media and ‘find the truth’ it goes on and on..makes me feel so on edge and sick even though i didn’t sleep with this guy and i am telling tue truth but he just doesn’t believe me and i have to even remind myself i havn’t told any lies!!

Guess what though he has since said sorry but always ends it with ‘you can’t blame me for getting like this, it’s all cause of your lies’

W*f

Now he is all normal again and i guess i have to be aswell…Thats how it always goes

Man i am SO unhappy!! Why can’t i be stronger. The mind games the name calling the accussing the swearing valling me a drama queen.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there and welcome to the forum, has anyone told you about the cycle or wheel of abuse? It explains why he does this so well. Look up going ‘grey rock’. It’s where you become as boring as possible, give little or no responses to them. Eg that’s your opinion, I’m sorry you feel that way. The only way to stop this behaviour is for one of you to end the relationship. He’s not going to do it, none of them will unless they have n**********c traits and they’ll discard you only to pick you up at a later time as and when it suits them. They have different values to us, live in a totally different reality and nothing we say or do is the truth or good enough. It’s all about power and control and in order to get it they have to use abusive means. Have you spoken to anyone at women’s aid yet, or your doctor or a trusted friend? Keep posting on here, keep reading others posts. When you’re strong enough you’ll know when it’s the right time for you. We all have to find our enough is enough moment, that moment when they cross the final line, when it’s finally too much. Try and take care of yourself, eat regularly, even if it’s small meals a day, drink plenty of water. Find something, anything that keeps him out of your head. I’m over 6 months away from my oh, leaving was terrifying, now, there’s no way I’ll go back not even if he tells me he’s dying, cos I’d want to hear that from his doctor. I still have some contact with him, no contact is the only way to begin to truly heal from them, but sometimes circumstances dictate otherwise. Do what’s right for you and no-one else. I’ve caught myself smiling to myself at times now, I’d even say I seem feel happy at times, an emotion I’ve not felt in many many years, not even when my grandson was born, he took the joy out of that too.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

[Hetty]

All mind games and manipulation to gain power and control and to project all of his inner demons onto you. He won’t stop. This behaviour keeps him feeling ok. These men aren’t interested in healthy equal relationships and they’ll do anything to keep us feeling vulnerable. They destroy and happiness they see in us. Birthdays, Christmas, holidays. Nothing but stress and drama.
If you keep a journal you’ll see the patterns

[Author]

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