- This topic has 7 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Toward the end the hate felt like he didn’t even want me to be alive it wasn’t physical but emotional he would say I don’t care about you and this thing he said still haunts my brain when I think about him and how he said it .
But since we separated he is asking for me back and I can’t get past the way he treated me the many times he said he does not care about me and he’s not going to stop calling women who he was constantly calling even though we was in a relationship.
Something else what haunts me is whilst he was admiring himself in the mirror saying (detail removed by Moderator) he would say this whilst smiling and to think about it my heart aches and I feel cringy aswell as devastated how can someone treat me like this I haven’t done anything this is the hardest part of it all I never did anything wrong.he was being deceitful Nd even appears to have married someone whilst living under my roof whilst I’m paying the bills whilst he’s eating my food whilst he’s having sex with me and all these women I know knew about me and one of them cared one but the abuse between them kept going on and online some joke he would have sex with me the make more phone calls immediately after .i just can’t stop thinking we have kids how could you do this to us and our family how can you be so evil them act like nothing happened.and even the women why would they want to destroy me and our kids why have they not said something.they destroyed my life and it’s been going on for years I want to cry .and the worst thing is I one knows the extent of this abuse and even then they won’t understand I’m alone with it even my older child is becoming siding with him because it’s all so hidden and we live under same roof.I’m not having a great day I’ve tried to pamper myself and forget but he keeps messaging and we have children .he still controls me cause of kids he’s told me I’m not even allowed to take them out without permission which he won’t grant cause he dosent want me to have fun -
It may be very complex, but it may be very simple that he just hates women. I don’t think its personal to you, mostly it really isn’t, its personal to all women that men think are there for their use, for sex, for child-bearing, for keeping house and for keeping them. Women are not real people to those that hate them, they are possessions and paraded as such, just as the children are. The children are simply other possessions that can be used as pawns to hurt their mother, and they need alliances with their children to retain power over their mother, often using the children to abuse their mother too, teaching them to treat their mother badly and laughing about it.
Just know what you know, and keep you all safe. Its hard to realise and understand that level of hatred, its confusing and extremely hurtful, cruel. It is better that you now know who he is. He has shown you who he is in his true colours, and you have seen it and it cannot be unseen.
Just look to yourself, move on from him and into separate accommodation from him as soon as you can. If you are paying for everything then surely he has no rights to stay there, and certainly no rights to prevent you going out, but I understand if you still live under that threat that he poses. Have you spoken to the police, they may have some advice for a way forward for you all.
warmest wishes
ts
-
Thankyou for your reply maybe he does hate women he has birthed (detail removed by Moderator) girls and I always wonder what would come of it all.but he seems to love them dearly for the moment.the thing is he laughed at me for being single when I’m single because of him and his behaviour I could not believe what I was hearing.why would you even laugh at the mother of your child for being a single mother raising kids alone when they are your kids.that’s just delusional.we were together a long time and it has bouts of happiness I just think how could you have put that charade on for so long then suddenly want me back after despising me going to the extent of gossiping me to other women
-
-
All of what TS has said a agree wholeheartedly, could not say it any better.
I grew up with this and have lived it in my marriage and some previous relationships.
It isn’t you it’s his outlook towards women and what he values any women as.
I’m looking at my marriage and realising this is exactly how it is.
My grown up children all see what’s happening and we talk. I’m grateful for the relationship I have with them as my husband denies everything they see the truth, and even brought my attention to the abuse.
His latest is being challenged by older kids of how little he does, he is now trying to prove them wrong and this won’t last his behaviour changes all the time. But I could get sucked in, it’s gaslighting trying to confuse us all and prove we have got him wrong.
My dad is still abusing my elderly mother and always has. (detail removed by Moderator).
(detail removed by Moderator). I wish she had left I begged her in my teens, it’s heartbreaking.
Sorry to ramble on but don’t end up like my mum, I swore I wouldn’t and I have. But not forever as I’m planning to be free eventually.
Get in touch with local WA.
I know with kids involved boundaries are difficult. I struggled, don’t let him in the house, if seeing children arrange for him to take them out perhaps?
Look ahead and set up those boundaries again, you did really well don’t cave in now you can do this, you’re wiser than and stronger than him, stronger than you realise.
Take care CB X
-
Thanks for replying the thing I’m not understanding is he has loads of women swarming after him and I’ve stuck by him all these years he does act like I’m replaceable but dosent leave I don’t understand it.he’s not in the house he’s gone but keeps coming back and I say I don’t want him back and I get laughing emoji and the likes of it.it now seems he has another wife abroad .i just don’t understand why he won’t let me get on with my life He saying he’s waiting then he will look for another one .always asking if I’m looking for a man.I’m not I told him it’s like he wants a competition waiting for when I move on
-
-
-
Mellow I want to send you a virtual hug, I know how you feel x*x
I think he makes your head spin on purpose and this is why you question him so much, why is he this and why does he? Why is he with me but then other women? Your so busy trying to work it out you get stuck in a spin.
From where I see it he is playing a game, and gets a kick from it, it’s control and a strange kind of fun to him. He can see that all he does hurts you he still does it. But that hurt makes you respond, as I say your head spins and he likes that too, if that makes sense. He’s got you stuck he can see it.
He stays with you, and has the other women until possibly they work him out and put up the barriers? Or dump him? You don’t, he knows this. He knows he has you where he wants and manipulates you. The other women can come and go as he will always have you, until you decide you’ve had enough, have no/little contact and don’t listen to what he says. You are his main supply and his mindset enjoys the game he is plays, maybe enjoys antagonising you? He doesn’t want you to meet anyone else not because he loves you but it will inconvenience him, his games.
Stay strong Mellow x
Message me if you want to talk CB X
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
