Viewing 3 reply threads
  • Author
    • #134627

      As the title says really. The ex, who I still live with (basically I live in one room of the house) has gone really nice all of a sudden. Asking my permission to go and do things. Offering me permission to go out for the afternoon….. making a real show of it in front of our youngest. I am raging inside, I really am. I can do nothing but nod politely and smile but instead I am pleading for him to leave me and the kids alone!
      I am working from home at the mo and he came home from work early and started to talk at me whilst I was deep in concentration over work. I could feel the anxiety kicking in and snapped..Then he asked in the most kind manner, (detail removed by moderator)! Yes! You! Go away I am trying to work.
      It feels like he is trying to make me out to be the bad person. Its working. Help!!

    • #134629

      It could be that he’s trying to make you look bad infront of the children. “Look how hard I’m trying and she won’t even give me a chance. This is her fault!”

      It could also just be the phase of the abuse cycle where he tries to draw you back in.

      It could be both. Mine did exactly the same thing.

      Please consider leaving as soon as you can. I stayed through the first part of the divorce. It almost killed me. The constant and rapid repetitions of the abuse cycle left me feeling suicidal.

      • #134642

        Thanks Eggshells. I am trying!

    • #134632

      Wow I feel this. I’m also in a position where me and my kids mainly occupy upstairs at the mo and I’ve said it’s over but after realising nastiness wasn’t working he’s become overly nice, full of promises, spending time with our joint child which he never did before. Like you I can’t stand it, I’m really struggling to bring myself to even talk to him and wish he’d just leave me alone. It’s all about control and trying to hook you back in. Stay strong lovely x

      • #134643

        Bananaboat, same here. Cannot stand talking to him either. I am with you. Its so hard. Something has to give soon, and not my mental health

    • #134647

      Oh goodness same here. Since he showed up as a true abuser then a few days later realised I was even more determined to go I think. I got the apology (he never has apologised before) and he is doing all the stuff, and I’m seething inside. Can’t even bear the noises he makes when he is eating, yawning. It’s so so so so hard

Viewing 3 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs


Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content