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So just (detail removed by Moderator) days ago he decided yet again to have a go at me and s**g my teenage son off. Calling him worse than poo saying I do and say what I please with him he wants no part in any of him.
he then spends over (detail removed by Moderator) on him in one day. Buys me a very expensive gift and acts like nothing was said!
like how is this normal behaviour!!??
I can guarantee that within 2 days he will be slating me and my son off again over something slight if anything… never warrants the reaction if there is something… saying why does he bother why try why this why that…
its just like a big game to him… I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it…
Apparently it’s normal to not see friends and family once you get your own family.
I haven’t seen my friends in over (detail removed by Moderator) years… and family not allowed to visit… I can’t take the children anywhere at all… not soft play not to visit family. Literally no where.
he works from home and I never get a break or bonding time alone with the kids…I don’t know what I feel like maybe just to hear others experiences or something, anything, I think I’m leaving him, I just need to plan it…
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Because if he was Mr Hyde all the time you’d be long gone, but by putting on the Dr Jekyll nice guy mask we doubt ourselves and we stay because we believe that’s the real version, excusing the bad guy. It’s super effective, but super cruel and sick on their part. Focus on the future you want without him xx
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I guess so… everything is his way or no way… I can’t make a decision because it’s always the wrong one…
I find myself just constantly bowing down and don’t even stand up for myself any more. That’s not the person I am.
everyone thinks he is so lovely and he’s just not, behind closed doors it’s a nightmare, constantly walking on eggshells.
I want to leave, far far away from him but know that’s not possible with the kids… -
Oh lovely I used to think the same but do it for the kids. They pick up way more than you realise and what hit me hard is the kids only get a handful of Christmas’ and birthdays, and you to enjoy and he was ruining the memories of all of them. Have you read Lundy Bancroft- why does he do that? It was really eye opening for me. Can find free pdf copies online or buy a copy, it’s crazy how so much of your life and your kids lives are being impacted & controlled. You can do this, you’re so much stronger than you realise x
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I’ve just recently started reading it, it’s definitely eye opening.
i just feel like the bad one if i leave with the children, like i think of his feelings in everything but he clearly doesn’t, or he does sometimes, which is why he is maybe nice sometimes.
How did child arrangements work for you when you left?
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When leaving my ex threatened to take my kids away from me, claimed I was a bad mum etc, I suggested 50/50 but realising I wasn’t playing the game how he wanted he decided once a week but is now so unreliable and if he does have them it’s for such a short time, I can definitely see him giving up in the future. They’re all different but everything is about control and ‘winning’ in their eyes.
I also felt like the bad guy breaking up the family but look around you, he’s already done that. You’re already a single parent. You’ll just be doing it without a moaning a*s adult and in a peaceful home. It takes time and probably took me 2 years to finally accept and get out but it’s definitely 100% worth it.
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