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    • #116426
      Starmoon
      Participant

      My default setting seems to be to revert back to blaming myself, assuming I’m overreacting or over sensitive.
      I spoke to him via zoom call (recorded via police advice). He denied pushing my daughter, said he didn’t know why she’d say it… told me it was “(detail removed by Moderator)”.. he used this line around (detail removed by Moderator) times. He said he had told me that my youngest back was hurting all weekend but that it was my “(detail removed by Moderator)” again… I’m sure he didn’t tell me about her back… because I’d specifically asked him to tell me if it had been hurting so I could take her to a&e… so I would’ve remembered if he’d told me. He has me constantly second guessing myself.. my councillor says he’s gaslighting me but it’s still so much easier to blame myself.

    • #116437
      fizzylem
      Participant

      If you were to put his voice aside for 10 minutes, what do you think happened? Chances are you are right, trust your gut, always, it rarely lets us down, and if not, if you later discover new information that leads you to think otherwise, admit you may have got it wrong. Show humilty. Nothing wrong with that is there. I personally don’t think this man is a reliable witness, what he says can not be trusted, and this is just from the few lines you’ve chosen to write, the bits of the conversation that seem off to you, you are right of course; this also tells me you likely know this if you were to stop the over thinking, that the reality seems a bit blurred at times, but there is also clarity inbetween this; you don’t need any validation either btw, you are either right or wrong but for now this is what you think; trust your gut SM x

    • #116447
      freedomfries01
      Participant

      He wants that to be your default setting so that it’s always your fault coz sure as hell he’ll blame you as well!! My ex always did it when we were together and still now we’re apart. Now my default setting is to instantly distrust him but because I get flustered I am sometimes wrong. But like fizzy said I show humility and admit it straight away. Even though it galls me so much to admit he’s right and I was mistaken anything else would make me like him.
      Trust your gut. He’s a liar and you were expecting the news about your child’s back so why would you simultaneously ignore him saying whilst wanting to know the information. Go with what you know is true….the opposite of what he’d have you believe xx

    • #116603
      Princess Warrior
      Participant

      Being new in here and reading your post as a mum and a victim of DV. I’d say go with your gut as a mum. Don’t over think anything as he will be in your head.

      I hope you resolve this i really really do

      PW x*x

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