This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  brandnewme 2 months, 1 week ago.

  • Author
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  • #72226
     smithy 
    Participant

    So my local authority have said that they will house me as my husband is refusing to leave our home. This is good news. However my husband has told me he is going to leave and should know soon if he is going to be able to rent the house he is interested in. My question is, if he does move out will my LOcal authority still house me? I can’t afford the house on my own and it is going on the market but my concern is that they say I’m no longer at risk of abuse as he isn’t in the house. Is that likely to happen?

  • #72228
     LozzyX 
    Participant

    If this was me I would not mention anything at this stage to the local authority, in case it jeapordises your offer of being rehoused and in case he is bluffing. There is no point in notifying the local authority of your change in housing need until/if that actually happens.

    Then if he does move out of the house , then tell the LA but advise them you are still facing homelessness as you will be forced to sell .

    If you haven’t already , I would also seek legal advice as to liabilities for paying any outstanding mortgage until the sale.

  • #72229
     smithy 
    Participant

    Thanks for that! He said he will know for definite tomorrow night so I guess I can hold off for now. I am just the type of person that likes to do things by the book. I do still feel at risk because I know he will keep a key for the house. I also suppose I need to get used to the fact that he won’t be there which is good but he can still get to me by text etc. He is wicked with his words. The only way to escape it is to block him but how do I do that when he’s got the kids! Anyway, that’s a problem for another day I guess!

  • #72231
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Try not to overthink. You’re being rehoused because you’re in danger so it makes no sense to leave you in a property where he knows where you are. It’s important he does not have your new address. Contact for children can be done via a contact centre or third party. Don’t tell he you’re being rehoused. He’s going nowhere. Why would he move somewhere he has to pay rent. He’s playing mind games. Stick to your plan to be rehouse and pretend to him it’s not happening. Then go safely and quietly. His abuse will escalate as he feels he is losing control. Next step is a legal contact order so he had to abide by agreed contact. Meantime keep all evidence of his abusive behaviour. Texts, emails, keep a journal. I even recorded him (if it’s safe to do so). Most of all do not believe a word he say. Abusers are liars. Hang in there. You’re doing great x

  • #72256
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Whether he leaves or not, one of the things that you said was you couldn’t afford to pay the mortgage on your own. Tell him nothing about your plans in place to move, it’s very easy to let something slip out, try and act as if you’ll still be in the house after he moves out. It’s all about leaving safely, everything else can be dealt wirth once you’re out and have breathing space. One problem at a time or you’ll overload your thought process, which will suit him to a T. Good luck, keep strong.
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #72314
     brandnewme 
    Participant

    You can not trust these men and he is likely to be trying to get control by potentially messing your housing plans up.
    Don’t mention it to LA and anyway he may come back and demand to move back in , imagine how nice a new home and a fresh start on your terms will be and the LA rent is a lot cheaper x

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