This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  savingthestars 8 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #95373

    This week has been so productive.

    Been to the Recovery toolkit for the first time this week, and ended up behaving like a giddy child. Its terribly guilt making, but when others are saying they have symptoms like you, and that they have the same issues around the “professionals” its… amazing basically. I was actually saying “that is so great” when a woman said about her physical symptoms to brain damaging behaviour, but not because i thought it was great. It was just… refreshing, and eye opening.

    I have realized my daughter had (removed by moderator), and I am exstatic, again not out of happiness that she has had so many issues but, I can tell the doctors what she needs to be diagnosed as, and this shows what my “wonderfully supportive” ex was doing. And how much of an a***e he is for trying to get my daughter diagnosed as (removed by moderator).

    If I go to court now, the courts have to see what he has done.

  • #95374

    I also realise why I seemed mad:

    my ex didnt tell the truth, so I think why didnt he tell the truth. Then I look for patterns, and if things are linkable, I linked them and came up with a bigger issue. Especially this is when I realised he was abusive, i then didnt know what he was capable of.

    Eg, he didnt take child to hospital
    has a two page essay instead of saying he didn’t know about the reason she was sick
    He made stupid joke
    The next week (removed by moderator)
    he is trying to get child into special school
    He keeps money and does not pay maintenance

    Thus instead of thinking he is a selfish person who is not honest about his involvement, and does’t think about the affects of his decisions on children/others, and absolves himself from blame by making some cover story, and doesnt take kids to hospital when they need to.

    I thought, he was trying to poison the child into being seen as autistic, in some way, so that he might get financial benefits.

  • #95485

    Sounds like a productive week STS! Great! You’re gaining much clarity. Keep going and building and shaping your support now for you and your children. He sounds exactly like mine – operates covertly and is the master of manipulation – plays with peoples perceptions. So he will claim to others he is the loving, caring father, then neglects her. I learnt that what he says and what he does are two entirely different things! And yes you’re right, its always about him and what suits him isnt it xx

  • #95576

    It so is… he will stand there and say that your a neglectful person, while not actually being there, and then professionals say you neglected everyone. And you feel guilty. Yes okay maybe due to trauma you are ill, and become neglectful, but how surprising is it when you are told to believe in a mirage and have to pay him (a working male) money when you do things wrong and you are not a working person or… a mother whos job is massively… unseen

  • #95578

    its like my daughter. She showed me just what he is, and what he has done. She says that my ex (who isn’t related to her), but has confused the world into thinking he is in some way. She said that he gives her meals. She goes to breakfast club at school, eats at dinner, and then goes to a child minder in the afternoon. He then gives them takeaways at the weekend, or allows family members to sit her and her sibling. It may seem very small, but this is exactly what I mean. He will say that he gives her food, and therefore she believes it. He also “makes pizza” by ordering it from some take away.

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