Words

[Headcook]

Is he genuine

I am so confused right now I have my plans to leave we are all leaving them together me alone this has to happen and it will
I’m being asked will we see one another
I’m struggling to see how this will actually work as his partner is still no speaking I tried asking how this word work me visiting
To be told it’s his place too
I explained it would be uncomfortable going to them to receive the same silence from her
Except I would be in their home so could that actually be worse
He then questioned wether (detail removed by moderator). Wow
When exactly would you draw the line with trying with someone not responding to you
What is a fair amount of time before it crosses into Infact abuse from her and the very least rude
I did say (detail removed by moderator) I got nothing back

I raised all that’s expected us living here our duty as equal tenants to return this place in the condition we found it in
I’m being given loads of words he will do this he will pay his share
If money is lost he will cover half so I don’t loose out again wow
I did ask for that in writing
He just wanted to no if I didn’t trust him

Will help me move he says although at this point I am reluctant to even say I have a place lined up so again I’m unsure
All this took place mr nice mr amicable then he went Out (detail removed by moderator) upon his return he had switched again to asking me questions why had I not told him (detail removed by moderator) had been to the house
He didn’t believe my answer he was going.to phone and check I was telling him the truth had I let this man in the house. Prob afraid I would show him the damage to this mans property
There was a problem with his checks on his place so think I got the brunt of that
Although the implication was it was my fault for his change of mood

Words. Are easy they always have been with him but I’ve slowly been detaching myself from him More non accepting of his ways no real emotion to him so very hard

Then (detail removed by moderator). I’m hearing he’s been in contact with his dad another big big wow

Another kick for me deep distress
He doesn’t no that I no this

I’m at a big loss here to no what to believe lots of this needs doing so I don’t bear the cost of most of this
Wish I new how to handle this now

Hc

 

[KIP.]

Believe nothing. Get on with your own life and plan your own new place and put yourself first. Do not tell him where you are moving to and expect him to pay nothing that you’re owed. There’s FaceTime and phones for communication and public places for meetings, now is the time to set your boundaries and stick to them. Write down every time he has hurt you, name called, frightened you, thrown things at you, blamed you. His an abuser with a biological link to you. I’ve had to cut contact with my son. He’s not the boy who grew up with me. He’s learned abuse or perhaps it’s genetic but it’s out with my control now. And it will continue to destroy you while you have an abuser in your life.

[Headcook]

She’s broken her silence
Came to me and hugged me said sorry sorry sorry
I asked could we talk
We have
I’ve told her I will always be there for grandchild and her
There will be no I told you so from me just support as I’ve always shown to them
Have said I’m very afraid for her and child
That he will prob never change
That what he does is abuse and violent
Told her she is going to do what she going to do I no this the warnings are there through living here staring her in the face

She has told him one incident and she will leave him
Time will tell
She looks sad and broken
I did ask is this a set up she claimed not
Made it clear I will get hurt by him if this comes out police will be called and he will be removed for good

I can do no more
My head and heart are aching

Hc.

[KIP.]

Be prepared for her to tell him. She’s trapped too.

[Headcook]

Yes I am on alert over this
Phone fully charged ready to call 999
Have spoken with support worker this morning so she is aware this has taken place
Will not speak of it again with her

Thank you.

Hc

[bringbacktheoldme]

You have done the best thing by saying that you will always be there for her and your grandchild and as you say time will now tell but you have handed that olive branch now and it is always there for her to grab if she needs to.

[Headcook]

We are back to square one
Short answers abrupt
I remained distant don’t think I was supposed to do this be this way was supposed to be back to my accommodating self
Flying monkey was in action ?
Sorry is normally followed with action change I believe correct me if I’m wrong ?
I did not get his wrath only grilled had I found a place did I want to see what there place was like on his phone
Felt all about them again
Don’t think I gave away what he wanted her to find out I was into it
Only spoke of concern for her and child this he knows already just doesn’t care

Couple of days this be done
Please give me what I need to get through this keep crying knowing it has to happen

Hc

[Hazydayz]

Headcook. Nobody here can give you what you need? Only You can do this! and you are doing it! You are doing what you should have done a long time ago, arn’t you. Starting a new life for yourself! Stay focused! You will get through this! The tears are healing! Your coming to terms with it all, that’s good! Wishing you happiness for the future & very best of everything! Good luck with everything💞

[Headcook]

Thank you

No I no nobody here can give me what I want
What I meant was give me the strength That I need to be able to get through this next stage
Yes it’s been a long time coming mainly cause it’s my son and I feel makes this harder for me
My support worker is always saying this is double the blow because he’s my son
I’m grieving him leaving and the abuse just complicates it even more
I agree with her fully
My posts are my way of expressing myself writing what I’m unable to voice living here for fear of repercussion actually having an opinion and any support is appreciated and continues my knowledge from others further down along than I currently am
I’m being told this is the most dangerous time so am understandably anxious
Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Hc

[HopeLifeJoy]

Yes sorry’s should be followed by action, you are correct. Otherwise there are just words. It is a little difficult to say if she is a victim in this or enabler perhaps both.

Sending you strength Headcook, you are right to be vigilant at the end, you know I think you are very strong, you are standing your grounds and keep focused on moving forward with your plans all the while observing them and even gave her a heart to heart talk and offered your support. You gave your absolute everything to them and now to yourself. Keep standing strong, hold steady, do not tell him your new address ever.
Keep in touch with your support worker. Soon this will be over. Hold tight. Breathing visual relaxing exercises help keep you grounded check online, youtube.
💕💪

[KIP.]

It’s all going to be okay. Once you’re settled in your new place you will have your own life to get on with. The parting had to come at some point and he’s a father now with his own responsibilities. Time to let him go. Time for you now.

[Author]

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