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    • #134705
      Plodding
      Participant

      Hi I wondered if anyone has experienced anything like lights turning on or off ? I’m really struggling to understand if there’s a reasonable explanation For this as I have no understanding around electricity . We have various lamps connected in a “smart” way so to speak so my husband and I can set them on a scheduled timer if we are away . There have been times when diff ones (including one in my daughters’ bedroom) that have either turned on or off late evening or early morning . It’s at diff times, it’s happened in 5 occasions. One time I was plunged into darkness when I went up to bed on my own (always leave husband up for a while) flicking through Facebook as u do and two lamps went off at the same time ! One being a touch lamp and one opposite end of the bedroom to where I was lying. I can’t underand my daughters lamp turning on as it not anywhere near where she sleeps unless she turned it on in the night and got back into bed but I would have thought she would have chosen the bedside lamp she has which is right next to her . I feel there is probably and hopefully a reasonable explanation like an electrical issue for this and feel so terrible accusing my husband but he has done other things that have made me feel suspicious which I think has had this impact . I do think I’m my head is compelety goi v crazy and I’m getting paranoid
      Thank you

    • #134709
      KIP.
      Participant

      The fact that you are questioning his behaviour speaks volumes. His behaviour has driven you to this thought process, abusers are good at gaslighting and it destroys our mental health. Do you have the app that you can look at and check the settings? Or is he in control of this? See what his reaction is when you ask to be shown it and how it works? Sounds like something an abusers would do. Then deny it. Talk to your local womens aid because abuse always gets worse.

    • #134741
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      These smart lights/bulbs tend to be done via amazon most commonly, I know a few friends who have them. You can do them via an app, or even ask Alexa to ‘dim the lounge light’ and it does!

      Do you have access to the app? If not, why not? You can set lights to come on and off at certain times, which is the most logical explanation why two lamps went off at the same time.

      When is this happening? Are you always alone or is your husband with you? If you are alone this could be a control tactic as well as gaslighting. Are you left in the dark or can you turn the lights back on manually? If he is with you, is it him that is putting everything ‘right’ again? Is he belittling you and telling you that you’re ‘rubbish with technology’ to get you to doubt yourself that you don’t understand how these smart lights work?

      You could tell him you don’t like this technology and want to go back no normal, manual light bulbs and see how he reacts to that.

    • #134742
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      At the very least it’s someone playing silly games with the app. Find out who has access to the app and get it on your device too, surely you need it to turn lights on / off when he’s not in. Not a nice thing to do to anyone if he is turning the lights on/off on purpose but esp unsettling for your daughter!

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