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    • #74280
      Itwastimetostopit
      Participant

      I was in my relationship for a lot of years.
      But keep having memories pop up even from first week.
      I’ve realised how quick he got control of me.

      I keep having dreams the most disturbing is when he’s holding me and I can’t get away. Last night it was like still in relationship but was stuck in it again.

      Recently advised to right memories down so I’ve started right at the beginning.

      He was a bully from start

      Is it good to write it down?

    • #74281
      HopeLifeJoy
      Participant

      Hi Itwastimetostopit,
      I did write my story down, I can only recommend to do it. When I discovered this forum, the first thing I did was writing down my story, it came out fast, all over the place but that didn’t matter, it helped me so much to get it out and be heard.
      You can of course write it into your journal just for yourself.
      Writing it down helps your brain to process what happened to you. Telling it to people helps too. But somehow with writing you can get more details down and are not interrupted by questions. In any case get it out of your system sort to speak. It helps you to move onto the next stage with less baggage.
      The other advantage is that you can re-read it when you remember the good times of your relationship and wonder if it was really that bad. Re-reading it brings you right back to reality.

      I am sorry you have nightmares, that’s not a nice feeling I know, maybe write them down too, so it’s out and maybe they don’t come back to hunt you. And if the same nightmare come back like the one where he is holding you, imagine an escape plan or how you would fight back in your dream, you are allowed to use magic too 😉 …turn him into glitter confetti…that is quite empowering.
      All the best & keep posting

    • #74282
      EbonyRaven
      Participant

      Hi, I’m sorry you went through that. Writing it down can help you to get the thoughts out of your head, and stop them going around and around in there. It also sometimes helps you to make more sense of things, or even to see that it was just a jumble and there is no sense to be made of it if you’re writing a dream down.

      It will certainly help you if you have a moment of thinking he wasn’t so bad after all. You can read back and remind yourself.

      All in all, it certainly seems to have benefits.

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