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    • #141164
      Grey Rock
      Participant

      These aren’t my own words but I read them this morning and they seemed so spot-on to how I felt that I wanted to share in case they help someone else get out safety…

      ‘When distance equals safety you don’t owe an explanation.

      When explaining may lead to further abuse you don’t owe an explanation.

      When someone has abused you, you don’t owe them anything. Period.

      There can be a lot of guilt or shame for cutting of the abuser, for not communicating why we feel the need to keep them at a distance or feeling as though our behaviour mirror theirs when they would use silence to punish.

      Maybe you try to reach out and ‘do the right thing’ and explain why you’ve had to make the choice to create distance. Often, this won’t go the way you hope, and this conversation will be manipulated or used to shift blame.

      You don’t owe it to them to explain the consequences of their behaviour.

      Please save and share to raise awareness đź’ś ‘

    • #141179
      Lottieblue
      Participant

      Thank you @GreyRock. This is definitely something I struggled with and I know many others have too.
      I did the trying bit, but yes, as I knew it would be, it was used to diminish and discredit. I made sure I did it with a (professional) third party there, as protection and as a witness, and then I stopped.
      I am going to make sure I hold on to these words. x*x

    • #141182
      Grey Rock
      Participant

      Xx

    • #141183
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      I ways feel like its me not him always.
      This is a good read thank you x

    • #141189
      Grey Rock
      Participant

      I wish I’d read it (detail removed by moderator). It’s still helpful with hindsight though.

      GR x

    • #141196
      Cedarlemon
      Participant

      Hi GR

      Thank you for this . It is very helpful.

      X

    • #141202
      Strongenough
      Participant

      This makes so much sense, thanks for posting Grey Rock x

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