you’ve got to laugh.

[Doris]

Hi to all my friends out there. It was the depressed, sad, dramatic husband all day today and I admit I actually felt guilty about our broken relationship. A barrage of depression went on for about several hours this evening then he became ‘normal’ again – just like that! And like most posters here I started to think it’s me, I’m too sensitive and maybe I over-react. Then I looked at my secret journal and the list of accusations and criticisms written this time last year. It was really funny – the accusations/criticisms contradicted each other and were so trivial and silly they were laughable. I was reminded what an a**e he really is and how important it is not to be reeled back in. It certainly pays to keep a journal ladies. X

[LozzyX]

Yes do not get reeled in… Mine has done that so many times. I gave him a final chance and all its done is made it so much worse for me and now my parents too (taken money from them )

I’ve found the only way to break free is stay with family, and if that breaks down I’m prepared to go to a refuge… Whatever it takes… As they become so convincing , we are hard wired to feel sympathy and a sense of duty towards them at all costs…. I now even have his mum emotionally manipulating me into staying with him so realised she doesn’t give a d**n and knows a lot of what he’s done yet she’s even now still protecting him (he’s used her and been vile to her too)

So my advice is get out or get him out asap …. If u see my earlier posts u will see it’s taken me a fair few times to get to.this stage

I wish you all the best and ensure you are safe that is the most important thing right now …and get support if not already, call the helpline , if you haven’t called it for a while call it again… I am so glad I phoned again 6 months since my last call…as they had information on a new project and other agencies that can help xx

[FruitLoops]

Hi I’m new here today- I am so pleased to read what you’ve said about contradicting comments/criticisms!! I know exactly what you mean, but the trouble is- it causes me confusion and I start to not know what’s right or true! Gaslighting?

[FruitLoops]

I too keep a log of statements made, in a locked folder on my phone. It’s useful!

[LozzyX]

Yes Fruit loops it is!!! I too have kept a journal for over a year and that’s when I also started to identify patterns of behaviour . But even with my knowledge now of gaslighting and my journal … When I am around him , in that moment , I fall prey to his manipulation every time … So I am just keeping away and very little contact …I think eventually it’s the only way … And the journal is so so helpful … I keep reading it back to keep me strong and determined now …helps remind us we are not going mad…all the crazy things really did happen!

[Author]

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