AllTheChocolate

[AllTheChocolate]

This is so helpful, thank you. Sounds very similar. I have considered how I would feel if ex says son would have to stay with someone else – and I accept it. Son will soon realise that Daddy choses work/social life over him, which makes me very sad. But I will fill his life with people who love him and DO put his needs first. The relationship his Dad choses to have with him is entirely up to his Dad. The funny thing is, the day I’ve offered contact is a day when we’re in the same town as him, visiting people, so if he were late our son can just chill out with me and our friends anyway, until he gets home. But his Dad is upset that his work commitments may mean less time with his son, which i do understand, hence why I’ve offered other contact options.

I am fully prepared for the fact that it will me, my son, and possibly my ex as well who suffer in order for him to meet his controlling needs. That’s just how resentment works with these people isn’t it?

I’m going all in for support and help, thanks for that link!

[AllTheChocolate]

I am, and always have been, his main carer and resident parent, yes. I. Don’t think I’d appreciated that his behaviour may be similar with my son, too. I will be contacting women’s aid, yes. I need support. I have had similar advice that I need to put my foot down now. It’s scary.

[AllTheChocolate]

Oh and we don’t have a court order. It’s simply swapping one night for another, to suit our child better. And to help ex fit it around his work, I have offered several other options, too. So I’m pretty sure I’m being reasonable. And if his work means that day doesn’t suit him, then surely one of the other options will have to do? Am I right in saying that fitting contact around his job is not my responsibility? I am only responsible for meeting my son’s needs and his right to a relationship with each parent by ensuring regular contact? Which I am doing.

[AllTheChocolate]

Thank you, I had not considered getting a mediator between us. This is a good tip.
We are settled into a rhythm so it is rare for me to need to communication with him. This time we are just making adjustments, but he wants control of the situation and is not accepting what I’m saying. He wants what he wants, nothing else. I am standing firm. It does take its toll on me though, mentally. I am thankful that I have amazing friends and family!

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