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    • #118692
      BB123
      Participant

      Hi,
      So he’s claiming he has been suffering from depression for last lot of years.
      So feeling bad I went back!

      Last night I was getting the blame of not getting him help!
      I don’t think he has depression, I think he has behavioural issues.
      So now his family are all feeling sorry for him and I’m the wicked witch who left him.

      So I’m back few days and I am absolutely exhausted. I feel drained.
      Not sure if this is normal or if I’m coming down with something.

      He’s agreed to see a doctor, but we’ll see if he actually does.
      In meantime I’m still looking for rented accommodation. To me nothings changed. He’s still selfish and self centred.

      I’m feeling rather silly for coming back and feel like my life is complete mess at the minute.

    • #118349
      BB123
      Participant

      Thank you all so much for your comments and support.

      I know I should just been getting on with my life but I feel like I’m giving up on him.

      He phoned last night and was super nice asking how I was, I know he’s only trying to suck me back in to his mind games.

      I’m (detail removed by moderator) and he wants to talk, rich considering he was giving me silent treatment all last week!

      He’s panicking he never ever thought I would leave!!

      Just going to be honest with him stay calm. if he starts twisting everything to being my fault I’m just going to turn and walk out.

    • #108596
      BB123
      Participant

      Hi, yes I started doing this about 6 months ago.

      I would record in it most days with updates on his behaviour and how I feel.

      I also started recording on back of the book any previous events/situations and once I started writing so much cake flooding back to me.

      I started the book because I know when I do eventually leave, if I ever feel the urge to come back I’m going to look in the book and remember how he made me feel daily.

      I’m currently working from home so I have the book hidden amongst the boring work books!

    • #108406
      BB123
      Participant

      Thank you so much for your kind words. Everything you said is absolutely true of what I need to do.

      I was given options on housing I could get from the council and possibility of going to refuge. I’m going to try and private rent they can only say no lol!

      Once I have somewhere sorted I plan on sitting down with him to try to make him see it’s over and not to delay drawing a line under us, with sale or house etc.

      I’ve made list of everything I need to take with me including documents etc so kind of feel I’m getting ready to leave. Because once I leave I have no intentions of coming back to the house.

      The solicitor was lovely and talked me through the options if he plays nice or if he’s awkward so at least I know what’s ahead of me. I plan on getting house valued over next week or so and going to contact bank to see how much we still owe on our mortgage.

      I’ve been having the worse headaches and can only imagine it’s due to all this stress. I tried phoning Doctor last few days but can’t get through.

    • #108402
      BB123
      Participant

      Hi, thank you all so much for the responses.

      I’ve spoken to woman’s aid today and solicitor to see what my options are. We currently have joint mortgage and married.

      There is no physical abuse, all emotional and I can’t take anymore!
      I am a mess not knowing the mood he’ll come home in or if I say or do the wrong thing.

      Some days I struggle to think clearly,think all this stress is starting to get to me.

    • #106645
      BB123
      Participant

      Oh I love this post, songs can be so powerful!

      My favs at the minute ….

      Beyonce – don’t hurt yourself
      Rachel Platten – fight song
      Andra Day – rise up
      Nicki Minaj – regret in your tears

      xxx

    • #91595
      BB123
      Participant

      Thank you everyone for your kind words.

      I bought a notebook and have started recording every time he abused me and omg I could write a novel!
      I did actually feel it helped.

      My plan is to try and find somewhere to rent and then just move out.
      Realistically I’m not going to be able to be in position to do this financially until after Christmas 😟 however if things become unbearable at home I’m going to move into my mums.

      I did have low point this morning realising again he actually doesn’t care at all about me and he never really did.
      My life is going to be so better when I’m out of this situation.
      I just need to stay strong.

    • #91346
      BB123
      Participant

      Hi thank you so much for your reply 🙂

      I just feel so lost and can’t quiet believe this is happening to me.

      I know I can’t do anything until I have enough money to rent somewhere, so I’m stuck in this hell for another short period.

      I’m going to make some phone calls tomorrow regarding the house and see what will happen. I know my partner will make it all as awkward as he can for me.

      I haven’t been in touch with WA yet. I need to process everything in my head first.

      I’m hoping your journey starts to get easier 🙂

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