Beautifully Broken

[Beautifully Broken]

they referred me to Harbour, who said they can’t offer me any help. i’m so tired of surviving trying to hold it all together for it to get worse and worse in front of my eyes. (removed by moderator) siblings been torn apart. I am tired of repeating myself and not bben listened to and taken seriously taking proof and he is just believed by what he says. I got out, I reached out for help for my children I didn’t matter as silly as that sounds. and now it is effecting them even more. why did I bother just why I am just so so tired

[Beautifully Broken]

Thanks everyone, I was having an emotional time when I wrote it, absolutely tired out and drained however I will keep going. I’m not in that relationship anymore. I got out which he said I would be classed as the crazy woman and he would have the children taken from me. Yes my children are in care with me, my eldest ran from the situation she could cope as it really affected her mental health. This was a very hard time as she hit her brother as well so I felt torn between my children too. I got a tattoo to try feel something anything and a promise to my father and myself, I see it everyday it was my lowest point ever. my daughter is now in touch and she is having counselling and is on antidepressants and sleeping tablets. however she misses us like mad, and doesn’t want to leave when she visits. my son is struggling the same way she did how I know I have to stay strong and fight harder, i’m not sure how though at the minute I’m taking each day. I think he expected me to have failed by now. if it wasn’t for my Christianity I would of cracked up by now. Praise the Lord, I love who I am slowly becoming again, doing thing’s and the wondering why I even doubted it. however the doubt comes in and I say things like how did you let this happen again.

remember to be kind, give your self time to heal. this as been (detail removed by moderator) years for me a lot of downs and he lot of ups.

[Beautifully Broken]

yes, a court order is in place and I have no choice but to send them.

[Beautifully Broken]

This is way to emotional and hurts like mad, however it is a reminder that what my children and I went through was very real, it wasn’t my fault abuse is still taking place through contact with me children. I get accused of trying to control the situation as I am concerned about my sons eye sight as his glasses are taken from him (just one example). Just hope the audience really take on board the seriousness of abuse.

[Beautifully Broken]

Nobody wants to live this nightmare, it’s a nightmare in the relationship and a nightmare for us when we get out as are children have to get the blunt deal. messages passed on, threats, there don’t have a voice as they not listened to as fathers rights come before the child’s. I am risking everything as I have to say I am sorry to hear that tell someone else. my children say why does daddy do this and get everything he wants. Really want to help more with this situation it needs to change and soon the children need to be listened too. I’m fed up of been accused of this been my fault, one rule for him another for me. Sorry starting to go on a lot now.

[Beautifully Broken]

my ex flips between wanting to come to my property to been scared it’s madness, I refuse to change the agreement. He wants to be able to ring whenever he wants and drop by to see the children when and as he pleases. However this isn’t possible and I am moving forward not backwards. even civil conversations via texts or communication book doesn’t happen properly……. we must remember we do amazing and some boundaries have to stop in place for everyone. Even when I get called names in front of the children, this is apparently ok as I dealt with it appropriately!

[Beautifully Broken]

No I will have to have a look to see if I can get a copy thank you xxxx

[Beautifully Broken]

The more tired we are the more control they have, I had to be careful and change routines without him realising to get stronger to find a way out. (Children went to bed so did I) set alarm to rush through jobs. I ate little amounts with the children as he always wanted takeaways. As arguments would kick off and nothing made was what he wanted, and if I did it would go in the bin) however I think he started to realise something was changing in me as I wouldn’t want any of the food and eventually got the energy to question some of his actions however then it changed from emotional abuse to physical abuse, he apologised etc and I let it go however in a lot of pain until then he started throwing things at my children etc. Enough was enough.
What ever you do keep safe and remember you don’t deserve this xx

[Beautifully Broken]

The more I talk the more they twist, and then I think I am just wasting my time as my children are going to be taken away(they are threatening this, and he is perfect in every way). At the same time I can’t stand seeing the children come back and the way they are. Just so grateful for my faith xx

[Beautifully Broken]

I have been in this situation and I went to the school showed the head the text messages and how they were also aggressive with him stating he would send them to school in clothes. I took uniform in just in case and the headteacher was amazing and supportive.
so many head games and it’s not fair on the children. if they could home in uniform they know to just get changed.

you are amazing and it is ridiculous what can happen, hold you head high and remember you can only do you best xx

[Beautifully Broken]

I am still trying, social workers just aren’t getting this at all. I don’t even get minutes of meetings or anything. the social workers won’t put anything in writing xx

[Beautifully Broken]

messgaes are been sent through the boys. I have taken pictures however I have been told because of the time scale this isn’t evidence, recording everything does nothing in my experience. I even have said about cameras in my house they wont do it. If I took pictures of my sons bed when he wet it I could of just tipped water on it…..it makes me sick who could even do these thing’s sorry a very bad day. we have a book for communication and text messages only as I refuse any other way. he accuses me off playing silly games when he isn’t sending things back and I’m continuously replacing important thing’s which is affecting us financially…I just don’t know what to do anymore.

[Beautifully Broken]

I just feel like this is never ending, I can’t do right for doing wrong. I rang the out off hours social workers however they said tomorrow it will go to are allocated social worker xx

[Beautifully Broken]

I get accused by social workers of distressing and emotionally abusing the children doing this and aren’t allowed help without the social workers guidance as they also have parental responsibility, not sure what I can do anymore xx

[Beautifully Broken]

yes a court order is in place however the children aren’t listened too, even though social workers have seen the distress. anything I say is lies.

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