Blueshoe

[Blueshoe]

Hi thanks, I do feel like I’m going crazy, thanks for clarifying, it seems more and more he gets annoyed with, he sucks me back in by giving me promises ,sweet smiles promises, he will change, I emailed a abuse councelor hopefully she will help, my gut feeling is when I do have the guts to leave him will claim its me , I will read those books past counselor s didnt understand I need to find one that does. I will try and go for a walk, I cant face another lockdown with him he works from home and I dont work, so I will try and get out as much as possible, thanks I really thought it was me.

[Blueshoe]

Hi thanks for replying, I haven’t slept, I cant tell him that he said when I haven’t slept as he says i I have no control over my emotions, its not true ive kept things s from him, I meant to say he accused me of ripping him to shreds , and saying im self obsessed as I mentioned a severe infection spreading from some else in the house to me, I miss spelt, he told me I dont need to say stuff when I said did, when I said I missed the loving side afew times said im needy, I try not asking for help, I will read the books ,I get eye rolls, so I feel silenced, I said this ,he accused me of being a feminist, and tell sexist jokes, women don’t know when to shut up,he dimises me, ive tried not getting angry ,im trauma bonded I know it he’s even said I was, his family dont like me ,so thought if I left they would say more stuff, I just want a way out ,someone who will listen, he’s said im mentally ill I was distressed by him, calls me derogatory pet names, convinces me he joking digs as jokes says I cant understand his jokes, gets annoyed if I fall over if im in pain gets annoyed and says I push him by talking too much,im explaining I wanted to be treated with respect and kindness he sahe said I was manipulating him for just saying be nice, as I said he’s so lovely to others ,he accused me of doing stuff he dose, I said he’s driving me away your driving yourself away, he said he’s lost respect for me as I’ve lost respect for him ,I came down again to try and settle things, he makes noses as I talk still,

[Blueshoe]

Hi, thanks for understanding, he has spoken to his family about me, they have almost all slowly turned on me,he mentioned my mental breakdown, and relationship problems now they have sided with him ,blaming me ,those are several family members , though one was there for me, she said that, she listened and said I could talk ,confine in her, then when she heard his side, she really layed into me,she wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say. ,everyone ,work colleagues thinks he’s wonderful, he dosent show those nasty behaviour s to them, he’s all nice charming, empathic always, has loads of patience, he dose anything for them, we are married ,so leaving even harder,sometimes im desperate to leave then I feel terrified , im trying get my self esteem back and learn to trust, thanks so much for understanding.

[Blueshoe]

Hi, thanks for replies, I hope I dont annoy anyone, im so used to explaining why I’m saying things and justifying myself to my partner and my mum and others others for so long, I dont want to sound neg but I’ve come from a bad childhood, ive been bullied on line, and throughout my life , school college, when I stood up for myself at school or college or at home or online or even with so-called friends I got mocked, or told I had an attitude, now I’ve realised I’ve been having this from my partner, do you think he sounds abusive? I thought he was just stressed, I try to be happy funny, caring ,cause thats the kind of person iam, hes said im over sensitive to his mean comment s o believed it, i think I have low self esteem so I doubt myself, I think all ive known is being put down and mistreated most of my life. He says I play the victim, ive tried not to mention symptoms of my condition s , i have severe asthma, allergies, its not something I choose to talk about but it comes up as I have alleric reaction, meds have stopped working, he makes out I talk too much about it but I try not too o ly when I’m mentioning it as I’m suffering or im trying to fix it.i don’t understand why he resents me for it its not my fault. Why dose he get angry and say mean sarcastic put down s and turn things around on me? I’m just setting boundaries for him not to make noises when I talk or even when I’m doing nice things for him or saying nice things ,ive counted amount of times I’ve mentioned heath problems and its not nearly as much as he makes out, he’s now being nice ,he phoned me up concerned for my heath and wellbeing, he has been caring last couple of days, ive tried to give him space, alot I dont have a close relationship with family as I got misteated from them too.whys he now being nice ? Sorry for lots of questions, he dosent like me asking lots of questions, my mum was kind of unstanding but since corona virus she doesn’t want to know. I have had huge trouble understanding whats going on in my relationship, im not that young hive been with him half my life he’s all ive known for so long.

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