Circles

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My daydream is small Italian restaurant with genuine Italian food made by a chef who actually speaks the language. Sharing a bottle of red wine and having some interesting conversation where my opinion is listened to, respected and where the main topic of conversation isn’t sex . I will achieve my Italian meal and you too can achieve your green fields.

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Stay strong. My daydream is small Italian restaurant with genuine Italian food made by a chef who actually speaks the language. Sharing a bottle of red wine and having some interesting conversation where my opinion is listened to, respected and where the main topic of conversation isn’t sex . I will achieve my Italian meal and you too can achieve your green fields.

[Circles]

Hi Rhino Girl. Stay strong, you are twice the person he is.
My solicitor suggested getting an occupancy order to remove my ex from the house and they couple this with a non molestation order which means he can’t contact you again
If he has physically assaulted you then I would not hesitate to call 999, they can arrest him and keep him in custody overnight and then see whether they will grant bail.
Have you any friends or family to confide in? Mine have been my salvation.
Remember that he is the coward and you are the warrior.
Believe in yourself and take baby steps. One day at a time. That’s how I dealt and still deal with it. Never thought I would be able to but I did.
This forum is an amazing source of support to, I didn’t realise that my relationship was so abusive untill I read the boards on here and it was like reading about my own life.
Abusers rely on isolating you, don’t let him.

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I feel like this also. It’s been (detail removed by Moderator) weeks since I made the decision to seperate and although we are living in the same house he will be leaving in (detail removed by Moderator) and my divorce is 3/4 completed.
The guilt I carry though as being the one who is making him leave his home is huge. Despite the fact that he is the one in the wrong ad admits to being the one in the wrong, this doesn’t help. He looks to me to fix it all like I usually do and now I am beyond that point he is like a lost soul.
But actions have consequences and if I had treated him like he treated me there is no way I would still be living under the same roof. He would have made me leave.
So, it comes down to this. It’s him or me. And I choose me. If I put him 1st then I come 2nd and I’m sick of coming 2nd.
There is no alternative and that’s all there is to it. Stay strong, write a journal of your thoughts and how he makes you feel. It really helped me and still does.

[Circles]

Hi, so I’m 8 months on from my last post where I ended up staying and telling him this was his last chance.
There was another incident and the police were called and I left the house for a short period of time but then came back as lockdown started and we had a close family bereavement and I needed to be home to support the kids.
I have started my divorce and he’s had his letter. He’s agreed to sign the house over to me and to grant the divorce without contest.
He’s due to move out in (detail removed by Moderator). Can’t disclose details on this.
For now the hardest part for me is seeing him upset and losing his home and friends.
He is heartbroken and it’s difficult to see someone who you have shared a long length of time with in such pain.
I am steadfast in terms of how I move forward but need advice on how to keep sane whilst we live under the same roof. He is having counselling and has identified reasons as to why he behaved how we did and is determined not to be that person anymore for his own sake and that of his children. I believe he will change (in parts) but it’s too late for me to go back.
Any tips to keep me going?

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