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    • #26348
      Clare
      Participant

      Hi SaharaD

      The main abuse had stopped over a year ago but there was still some after that. He tried to stop and succeeded in stopping the physical abuse but still remained a bit controlling and emotionally blackmailing.

      I have been on the freedom programme but wouldn’t know how to go about any counselling or anything like that.

      I have no worry about this man being abusive. I tend to overthink everything which is why I worry. I wouldn’t say I’m insecure with him, it’s more that it’s quite early on and I know they say you shouldn’t say about previous abuse incase they are abusive but at what point should you tell them?

      I had planned to just date but things just happen sometimes. I found I didn’t want to date anyone else.

      Thank you for your help. I’ll keep it in mind. I don’t really fancy just waiting 2 years to be honest.

    • #8243
      Clare
      Participant

      Thank you mixed up mum. I’m trying to take things a day at a time. I’m glad things get better over time. I have trouble being alone because he was so demanding of my time, I don’t know what to do with myself sometimes. I’m trying to make myself be ok when I’m on my own. Sometimes you know what you have to do but have trouble doing it. What I find difficult is that there were multiple times that there was a straw that broke the camels back but I wasn’t strong enough to get him out. So prolonged it even more. I broke up with him but he stuck around for over 6 months after that coz I was soft with the break up. Not wanting to upset him. I’m just rambling now. I hope I get more good days 🙂 thank you for all your help

    • #8154
      Clare
      Participant

      Thank you. I guess I find it a little hard to talk about sometimes. Will try to talk about it with my friends, they have been very helpful so far.

    • #7728
      Clare
      Participant

      Thanks ladies for all your feedback 🙂
      For me I know most of his previous partners and am friends with one of his friends from school. She knows about my abuse as well. He is really gentle and nice. Never been in a fight and in no way controlling. Still cautious but think I’ll be OK. Don’t trust my judgement as much as I used to. Take things slow 🙂
      Good luck ladies with getting back out there 🙂

    • #7478
      Clare
      Participant

      Thank you. This helps, I have only just started seeing someone but have been friends with him for a while. Years. So he knows quite a bit about him already. He seems very understanding and such a lovely person I actually cried coz I never thought I’d be treated nicely after my abuser. Thanks again.

    • #6661
      Clare
      Participant

      Hi Moon
      Sorry I didnt see your post sooner, I have not been on here over Christmas. Maybe hiding from reality a little. I really hope you do find the strength to leave. Even though I have not found the strength to fully leave yet, I have found a couple friends to help me and support me with leaving. They are encouraging me and offering any support they can and it really helps atm. I know this is something I have to do for myself, they cannot do it for me. Its one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. You will see a way out, be careful but get out. Thoughts are with you and everyone else here. x

    • #5888
      Clare
      Participant

      I’m in a very similar situation to you ladies, trying to leave (or should I say get him to leave) but not managing it completely. Going back to him, not managing to stay no contact. It’s a relief that I’m not the only one. I can’t even fully explain why I still talk to him, I guess it must be out of habit and needing to rebuild my social circle.

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