DesertFlower

[DesertFlower]

Hi KIP, thanks so much for your quick reply…I’m sure I got the best I could with regards the finances, (detail removed by Moderator), also, the whole chucking-money-in-your-pension is a perfectly legal way for wealthy people to avoid tax/child maintenance. I went back (detail removed by Moderator) to question this (that is, the knock-on effect on child maintenance amount of chucking earnings into a pension) and (detail removed by Moderator) laughed in my face. (detail removed by Moderator). I thought because she was a woman that she would be fair, but no! It felt like a conspiracy where both the players are wearing Etonian ties. (The poor man just wants to secure his retirement…). I have been really good about sticking to email-only with my ex through all of 2017, but earlier this month my older one said, “you two have to talk and sort out the Christmas Day plans amongst yourselves.” I stupidly spoke with him at length, then a few days later his boiler broke and he wanted to borrow a space heater and so he was actually in my house for the first time in (detail removed by Moderator) years. Then a few days later he sent scathing email about the state of the house and demanding I leave (detail removed by Moderator) months earlier than (detail removed by Moderator) stipulates, I clearly conspired with my youngest to have him/her fail a year of school, etc etc etc. Then on Christmas Day one of my older children told me that my hated ex-sister-in-law had actually filmed me reacting to my ex’s “Lying Father of the Bride Speech” and then sent it to everyone on Whatsap (which I don’t use as don’t have a smart phone.). Ex said to groom, “(detail removed by Moderator).” I just feel so alone in that everyone is just, this is old, no one cares if he bit you in the face once. Thank you so much for listening.

[DesertFlower]

Thank you, KIP. I did the best I could with the divorce financial split (tho I’m starting to suspect he may have hidden some overseas money.). Half the house and half the pension, it’s just that he retires (detail removed by Moderator) and I retire (detail removed by Moderator). (he manages to retire at (detail removed by Moderator) years *before State Retirement.) For the past (detail removed by Moderator) years he’s been ploughing (detail removed by Moderator) into his pension fund “top up”, partly to reduce his income for child maintenance. I’ve got PTSD and he doesn’t. I’m tired of spending years in counselling. It feels like counselling is dialysis…if I don’t have counselling I can’t function. I’m told it would be a good idea to be assessed for Asperger’s, tho it’s a year wait for an assessment. You wrote that I should show myself love and respect but I can’t get away from all the voices in my head saying that I’m a failure, no good. It’s my mother’s voice that morphed into my ex’s voice and I have just focussed on my children and encouraging them to have a voice that I never developed a voice. I’m so lonely I keep studying with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, who would be happy to give me esteem and a voice (theirs, I suspect.). Thank you for reading this.

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