Forum Replies Created

Viewing 12 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #53045
      duvetday
      Participant

      cool thread 🙂
      I rely on music a lot to get me thru the days…
      A song I recently discovered which I find really empowering is Quiet, by Milck, which she wrote about surviving sexual assault.. (link removed by Moderator)
      Tiffany- I also really like Sia 🙂 I have been obsessed with Breathe Me lately…although it’s a very emotional song. Not exactly uplifting but I just find it so powerful and relatable…
      x

    • #52886
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hi LizSKY,
      So sorry that you’re feeling low and struggling with your situation. Really wanted to say that you are NOT partly to blame. None of it is your fault. I know it’s hard to see this tho.. take care x

    • #52825
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hi SunshineRainflower,
      Sorry that you’re experiencing this. Just wanted to say I can completely relate to your post. i have it all the time and it’s exhausting.. trying to match up the two sides of the person and having massive resistance in a way in accepting he was abusive as well as “nice, loving etc”… Hopefully we will get to a point where this gets resolved in our minds.. :/

    • #52824
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hi KIP,
      you should definitely do this! I think it sounds great. I have had similar thoughts myself. I think it would be really empowering to set something up and other people would really appreciate it I’m sure 🙂 With services getting funding cuts etc I think we kind of have to create things ourselves.

    • #52769
      duvetday
      Participant

      hi ConfusedAgain,
      i rent privately and am on benefits/housing benefit. I had to get a guarantor so that might be something you will need, but not necessarily. I have had loads of issues in the past trying to rent while on benefits, so when i moved recently I was really stressed out and thinking there would be no agencies or private landlords/landladies that would accept me, but I was surprised that in the town I moved to there were several who were fine with it. Good luck and I hope you find somewhere without too much worry and stress x

    • #52694
      duvetday
      Participant

      hey Tiffany, sorry to hear this 🙁 I have the exact same thing… I was just reading something yesterday that said that when we have bad dreams it’s our sub-conscious processing things that we’ve experienced.. Personally I think this might be true..? Some people find writing their dreams/nightmares down helps. I don’t know what else helps really cos I am struggling with the same thing.. But hopefully it is just part of the healing process for us. I’m sure that the bad dreams will lessen over time. x

    • #52517
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hi KIP, yep I plan to. We have to try and keep doing the things which help us feel relaxed and happy 🙂 x

    • #52384
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hey SunshineRainflower,
      Really sorry to read your post about your family 🙁 I think it’s really positive and hopefully therapeutic to be writing all the memories down. I definitely agree that the way your mum and other family members have acted is abusive. Im sorry that you experienced this. It sounds like you are setting healthy boundaries tho. This is so hard I find. I’m actually quite bad at this but am starting to work on my boundaries with people who are abusive or toxic. x♡

    • #52091
      duvetday
      Participant

      hi Freedomfighter,
      really sorry to hear this….sounds so stressful. You’d like to think this male gp wouldn’t have any bias towards what your husband might have said to him about you but abusive people can manipulate so easily, so maybe he has influenced the gp… All you can do is go and speak your truth and ask for the letter. If you feel uncomfortable in any way then just get your sick note and get the letter for legal aid from your other gp asap? Hope it goes ok and your anxiety subsides a bit. Anxiety and panic attacks are the worst 🙁 x

    • #52075
      duvetday
      Participant

      Argh.. well done for saying no! He probs isn’t “in bits”, just annoyed he isn’t in control and you’ve set a boundary.

    • #52039
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hi SunshineRainflower,
      So sorry to hear you’re feeling low and that things have been so hard and frustrating with your mum and other family members….I can really relate. Must be hard with the financial situation too 🙁 I think your affirmations are great 🙂 hope you have a relaxing day away from the family. Have lots of cat cuddles 😀 x

    • #52036
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hi ineedtosurvivethis,
      Just wanted to add my support again… ♡ I’m so sorry you are having to go thru this and you’re having the shittest response from the police. It doesn’t surprise me tho. Sorry that Paladin weren’t able to help. Maybe keep ringing them and emphasise how scared you are atm. I think going to a refuge sounds like a good idea. It may give you some much needed breathing space. x

    • #52024
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hi Tiffany,
      Aw that’s great to hear 🙂 I had a similar experience. x

    • #52520
      duvetday
      Participant

      Hi Freedomfighter, thanks for your reply. Sometimes I worry about posting positive stuff cos I know most of us here are struggling so much.. but on my really down days it can help me too to read other people’s positive experiences so im glad it gave you hope. I hope that next Xmas will be a better one for you x

    • #52064
      duvetday
      Participant

      Ah sorry you’re feeling so sad. I’m not good at all with dealing with that emotion, I don’t know about you.. :/ and especially around family stuff.
      It can feel so so hard to accept when things aren’t actually how we thought they were or how we would like them to be..
      I have the same thing when i think about dealing with being ill on my own.. It’s scary and really tough to get thru by yourself. But you’ll be able to do it. It’ll just be a different experience than when you were living with your family. I do get it tho, you want to have someone there when you’re ill. I bet your cat picks up on when you’re not feeling so well. If only cats could make us dinner and cups of tea tho hehe.. 😉
      The pressure to be all happy with your family at Xmas time is very real and can make you feel bad when you don’t have that option. I think definitely spend the day doing what you want to do, even if that means being by yourself next time. Who knows where you’ll be at next year, maybe you’ll have connected with someone who you spend it with, or maybe you’ll just want to be by yourself.
      Sorry to hear your friends didn’t get in touch. That must feel rubbish. Hope things feel easier soon x

Viewing 12 reply threads

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content