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10th January 2018 at 6:55 pm #53045duvetdayParticipant
cool thread 🙂
I rely on music a lot to get me thru the days…
A song I recently discovered which I find really empowering is Quiet, by Milck, which she wrote about surviving sexual assault.. (link removed by Moderator)
Tiffany- I also really like Sia 🙂 I have been obsessed with Breathe Me lately…although it’s a very emotional song. Not exactly uplifting but I just find it so powerful and relatable…
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7th January 2018 at 9:11 pm #52886duvetdayParticipant
Hi LizSKY,
So sorry that you’re feeling low and struggling with your situation. Really wanted to say that you are NOT partly to blame. None of it is your fault. I know it’s hard to see this tho.. take care x -
7th January 2018 at 8:29 am #52825duvetdayParticipant
Hi SunshineRainflower,
Sorry that you’re experiencing this. Just wanted to say I can completely relate to your post. i have it all the time and it’s exhausting.. trying to match up the two sides of the person and having massive resistance in a way in accepting he was abusive as well as “nice, loving etc”… Hopefully we will get to a point where this gets resolved in our minds.. :/ -
7th January 2018 at 7:55 am #52824duvetdayParticipant
Hi KIP,
you should definitely do this! I think it sounds great. I have had similar thoughts myself. I think it would be really empowering to set something up and other people would really appreciate it I’m sure 🙂 With services getting funding cuts etc I think we kind of have to create things ourselves. -
6th January 2018 at 1:46 pm #52769duvetdayParticipant
hi ConfusedAgain,
i rent privately and am on benefits/housing benefit. I had to get a guarantor so that might be something you will need, but not necessarily. I have had loads of issues in the past trying to rent while on benefits, so when i moved recently I was really stressed out and thinking there would be no agencies or private landlords/landladies that would accept me, but I was surprised that in the town I moved to there were several who were fine with it. Good luck and I hope you find somewhere without too much worry and stress x -
5th January 2018 at 2:21 pm #52694duvetdayParticipant
hey Tiffany, sorry to hear this 🙁 I have the exact same thing… I was just reading something yesterday that said that when we have bad dreams it’s our sub-conscious processing things that we’ve experienced.. Personally I think this might be true..? Some people find writing their dreams/nightmares down helps. I don’t know what else helps really cos I am struggling with the same thing.. But hopefully it is just part of the healing process for us. I’m sure that the bad dreams will lessen over time. x
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2nd January 2018 at 5:05 pm #52517duvetdayParticipant
Hi KIP, yep I plan to. We have to try and keep doing the things which help us feel relaxed and happy 🙂 x
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31st December 2017 at 7:23 am #52384duvetdayParticipant
Hey SunshineRainflower,
Really sorry to read your post about your family 🙁 I think it’s really positive and hopefully therapeutic to be writing all the memories down. I definitely agree that the way your mum and other family members have acted is abusive. Im sorry that you experienced this. It sounds like you are setting healthy boundaries tho. This is so hard I find. I’m actually quite bad at this but am starting to work on my boundaries with people who are abusive or toxic. x♡ -
27th December 2017 at 10:17 am #52091duvetdayParticipant
hi Freedomfighter,
really sorry to hear this….sounds so stressful. You’d like to think this male gp wouldn’t have any bias towards what your husband might have said to him about you but abusive people can manipulate so easily, so maybe he has influenced the gp… All you can do is go and speak your truth and ask for the letter. If you feel uncomfortable in any way then just get your sick note and get the letter for legal aid from your other gp asap? Hope it goes ok and your anxiety subsides a bit. Anxiety and panic attacks are the worst 🙁 x -
26th December 2017 at 8:18 pm #52075duvetdayParticipant
Argh.. well done for saying no! He probs isn’t “in bits”, just annoyed he isn’t in control and you’ve set a boundary.
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26th December 2017 at 1:41 pm #52039duvetdayParticipant
Hi SunshineRainflower,
So sorry to hear you’re feeling low and that things have been so hard and frustrating with your mum and other family members….I can really relate. Must be hard with the financial situation too 🙁 I think your affirmations are great 🙂 hope you have a relaxing day away from the family. Have lots of cat cuddles 😀 x -
26th December 2017 at 1:17 pm #52036duvetdayParticipant
Hi ineedtosurvivethis,
Just wanted to add my support again… ♡ I’m so sorry you are having to go thru this and you’re having the shittest response from the police. It doesn’t surprise me tho. Sorry that Paladin weren’t able to help. Maybe keep ringing them and emphasise how scared you are atm. I think going to a refuge sounds like a good idea. It may give you some much needed breathing space. x -
26th December 2017 at 12:03 pm #52024duvetdayParticipant
Hi Tiffany,
Aw that’s great to hear 🙂 I had a similar experience. x -
2nd January 2018 at 5:10 pm #52520duvetdayParticipant
Hi Freedomfighter, thanks for your reply. Sometimes I worry about posting positive stuff cos I know most of us here are struggling so much.. but on my really down days it can help me too to read other people’s positive experiences so im glad it gave you hope. I hope that next Xmas will be a better one for you x
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26th December 2017 at 6:54 pm #52064duvetdayParticipant
Ah sorry you’re feeling so sad. I’m not good at all with dealing with that emotion, I don’t know about you.. :/ and especially around family stuff.
It can feel so so hard to accept when things aren’t actually how we thought they were or how we would like them to be..
I have the same thing when i think about dealing with being ill on my own.. It’s scary and really tough to get thru by yourself. But you’ll be able to do it. It’ll just be a different experience than when you were living with your family. I do get it tho, you want to have someone there when you’re ill. I bet your cat picks up on when you’re not feeling so well. If only cats could make us dinner and cups of tea tho hehe.. 😉
The pressure to be all happy with your family at Xmas time is very real and can make you feel bad when you don’t have that option. I think definitely spend the day doing what you want to do, even if that means being by yourself next time. Who knows where you’ll be at next year, maybe you’ll have connected with someone who you spend it with, or maybe you’ll just want to be by yourself.
Sorry to hear your friends didn’t get in touch. That must feel rubbish. Hope things feel easier soon x
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