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    • #55541
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Hey MamaMia, you are AMAZING!

      You have broken free, you have recognised where potential issues are and you’ve fixed them. You are doing fabulous. We’re all here and we’re all proud of you.

      Give Women’s Aid a call if you need to. You can always try and get some counselling through them to help lift you out of this dark time.

      You got this! 🙂

    • #55507
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Well he’s upped his game and reported me to the police for assault. I have to go in for an interview. Will this never end?

    • #55437
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Thanks KIP, much appreciated.

      I guess I just don’t want to be seen as being too much trouble. In the SS meeting was the first time he’s let his mask slip and his true personality started to show through. In that way, being in the room with him (with other people present) seemed to work to my advantage.

    • #50480
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      The mere fact that you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time is a result of his abuse. He’s still in control. He is still controlling how you feel.

      The damage he did to you cannot be undone. You will never forget it.

      He’s enjoying the control of letting you be in a good place. When he feels like it he’ll take that good place away and dictate your emotions again.

      Unfortunately they really are all the same (abusers). Please do call WA, they are amazing (but it can be really hard to get through so persevere(.

    • #50479
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Mediation is a no no.

      When you go through the court process the first step is mediation, however, even our antiquated court rules recognise that if there’s abuse involved mediation will NOT work.

      His views and opinions are likely to be agreed with. Do not expose yourselves like this.

    • #50478
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Listen to MARAC!

      The police can help if he is turning up at work. Get them to have him done for Stalking, NOT harassment.

      Please get away from this man.

      Do not listen to his lies. He doesn’t love you, he loves controlling you.

    • #49371
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Mine also did this “are we okay” thing.

      I think it’s twofold: partly because they put pressure on you that if you have any niggling doubts you will tell them so he can trample them; partly because they’re so darn needy.

      interesting also that within a short period of knowing him you have a child – yet another red flag.

      Please please call the helpline. Please also know that it will NEVER get better than this, only worse. Expect him to be pressuring you into another baby soon so he can keep his control over you.

    • #49200
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Hey Woolly. It’s the cycle of abuse isn’t it. He needs you close by in order to abuse you. There’s no fun in it unless he’s in control.

      It takes an average of seven attempts to leave. Hopefully you’re getting the knowledge and support you need so that next time you leave it will be for good.

      Stay safe.

    • #49198
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      So glad you are going to be free and do not believe his lies when he says he will change.

      Please please be careful though.

    • #49197
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      You can totally walk away. Call the helpline if you need to and we are all here, begging you to get out now and not make the mistakes we did!!

      You feel love. They don’t. What they think is love is control. He loves the control he has over you, not you.

    • #49196
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Hey, welcome!

      For me personally, reading “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft was a huge help.

      Then finding out as much as possible about DV helped, following on social media and listening to podcasts, helps me get it all straight in my head.

    • #49195
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Hey hun, welcome.

      As Lisa says, counselling is a good place to start. Either thru GP or Women’s Aid ((who I’ve found amazing).

      As for username, well Eeyore is the blue one in the corner. I’m determined to be more Tigger!

    • #48065
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Hi Zizi, please do keep trying the helpline.

      Please do not let him know that you’re wanting to part. It’s an incredibly dangerous time.

      Stay strong.

    • #48064
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      You’re totally doing the right thing by complying with Social Services’ recommendation. Don’t even mention it to her unless SS say it’s okay.

    • #48063
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Do you know, it’s okay to talk about abuse.

      Since I ended my abusive relationship I’ve been quite vocal about what happened to me. The amount of people who say they’ve been through something similar or know somebody who has is astounding. Everyone knows someone who’s been there.

      My reason for being open about it is that I feel as a society we need to talk about it. Remember when we weren’t allowed to be gay, or have a mental illness but now it’s okay? That’s where I want society to be re abusive relationships. The only way we will break the stigma is by talking about it. Obviously you don’t want to disclose all the details but I think it’s totally fine to say “I was in an abusive relationship but now I’m out and I’m healing”. Most people will admire your strength, just like we do.

Viewing 14 reply threads

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