Thank you all for your kind words and support. It has given me confidence to know that I am not crazy (as he has previously told me) or making things up. I know I need to do what is best for me and this relationship is not that. It is hard when I still love the person he was but the more reading I do on emotional control I do see that maybe he never was that person, I’m just afraid I will let him make me believe he really is that lovely person. Thank you for the book recommendations and I will call the helpline for more support.