Funduro

[Funduro]

I have been having flashbacks in the form of nightmares about what the abusive ex did to me.

Nightmares usually of him shouting at me and that fear I felt.

They have gone on for around 2 months now, every day, some days they come and go all day, some days it’s just for an hour or two in the morning.

It’s the trauma working its way out.

Domestic abuse is full of brainwashing and starts with coercion.

We become like a zombie and it takes time to get back to normal thinking, eating and sleeping patterns.

I try and have a strict routine to deal with the destabilising effect of PTSD flashbacks but some days it just feels way too intense, like you’re back there in the room with that monster who tricked us into loving and trusting them.

Wholefood diet helps and fruit and green veg. Helps the body heal from all the stress.

I can’t wait for these flashbacks to calm down.

I was stalked for nearly 2 years by that abusive man, so it’s obviously taking longer than I thought to get over it.

Shocking how long it takes to unbrainwash ourselves and find ourselves again after they used and abused us.

I find the future faking the worst bit in the end.

Here’s to not having flashbacks one day 🙂

[Funduro]

They become like a different person when they want you back, but it is all definitely an act and part of the controlling games they play.

It’s often hard to see the control when there is always an apology and future faking about how things will be better.

I wasted over a year and a half falling for the old hoovering tactics and they never change, they actually get worse and the abuse gets worse, the neglect continues and you hit yet another low when the discard comes again….they always discard us in the end.

Again, it’s all part of the game.

Trust your gut.

That feeling is telling you what is not acceptable and that you’re not safe.

[Funduro]

Hi,

My family have been abusive towards me because of my mental health.

I have bipolar disorder and PTSD, have never taken medication because there are healthier smarter ways to deal with mental health that I have learned, but I’ve always had ignorant abusive people try pick on me for my mental health, saying that I need to be medicated as I don’t accept their abusive behaviours.

Your family sounds horribly abusive to threaten being sectioned.

Depression is so common yet still all this ignorance about it and it’s sad when those ignorant people are within your own biological family.

If people stopped abusing others, there would be no mental health problems to start with, that’s my take anyway.

[Funduro]

I have now received a generic email response from the police, because of me formally complaining twice in the last year about their total incompetency in helping me in any way.

They still have not even been to speak to my abusive ex and this is over a year now they have let him stalk me and withhold my property plus many other things he should have been charged with already by them.

I find it amazing that they actually help anyone, given the abysmal experience they have put me through for no valid reason.

They did not take me seriously, at all and have not ever to be honest.

It is complete madness. I actually feel quite threatened by the police now because of their lack of concern and care about my stalking nightmare, and to me,they now feel like an extension of the ex’s abuse, by not charging him for the abuses that are illegal, that he did commit and which I submitted countless evidence for.

It is almost like my abusive violent nutjob ex is untouchable to the police and I’m at a loss as to why.

I feel envious of all the people who actually get help off the police. I have no idea what that feels like so no wonder I wouldn’t ever call them again.

I do not trust them one bit. Sorry if this isn’t what you wanted to hear but it’s my truth and I know my rights and I know the police have let me down and not followed correct procedures for domestic violence and stalking.

It used to shock me how little they did for me, now I’m just used to their total apathy.

[Funduro]

You’re lucky the police took him away. They only seem to help when there is physical violence. All the emotional abuse I reported got blanked off by two different police forces. I wish the police would take my ex away and lock him up for what he did to me. Silver lining…he is gone now and you get to rebuild your life without being stalked hopefully, seen as the police have acknowledged your domestic violence. I get what you mean about missing them, this is because they weren’t always horrible. It’s nasty then nice, nasty then nice how they operate. It’s all the head games that mess you up the most too. I hope they lock your ex up for your sake and his next victims. Stay strong 💪

[Funduro]

The police may do nothing, like they did in my case when they let my ex stalk me for over a year. Formal complaints written and I’m waiting for a response from the police. I’m sure it will be some fake apology and nothing more. But you have to think of your life and your safety. Put a plan to, an escape plan, pack all essential things, go to a women’s refuge, he won’t find you there. Leaving them will feel so painful but there is a life of freedom out there, he just doesn’t want you to see it, it’s all part of the brain washing and control of these weak abusive men. You can do it. I left someone I loved very much, because he was abusive. It still hurts (detail removed by Moderator) on, but not as much as him abusing me on the daily. I’m rooting for you to leave that bully and his pathetic family. My ex had a family of pathetic rude people too, seems to be another theme…

[Funduro]

My GP just tried to palm me off to the local women’s center. Sweep all the domestic violence under the carpet, that’s how they do it at my GPS. I have been seeking help for a whole year now. Got no support and got basically abused by the NHS staff. Formal complaints written and I am waiting for a response. (detail removed by Moderator)

[Funduro]

I’m educated too and realise now that all my ex’s that were abusive seemed to hate this about me, because I worked them out quickly and ran away. I have been dating a bit also, while still being stalked by the creepy abusive ex, but I’m not letting him stop me moving on to find a real man who doesn’t need to abuse women to feel powerful because he’s ultimately thick as 🐷 💩 and can’t handle a strong woman. I was hanging out with one of the non abusive men I’ve met since the 💩 one, and I found it so odd that I could actually relax with this guy, weird feeling, it almost made me feel anxious, oh the irony, because I’m used to the (detail removed by Moderator) ex randomly kicking off at me so I couldn’t ever relax. It’s like I’ve been conditioned by that horrible little bully, to be in fight or flight all the time. It is fading but it’s taking a very long time. I just want my life back one hundred percent and for him to just suffer alone without my light anymore. Guess karma for these abusers is that they can’t feel love or show it. Empty lost souls basically, hungry for power and hoovering us for our good qualities. I have to say, it sucks being a straight woman in this society of domestic violence and societal violence towards women just backs it all up. ..

[Funduro]

I had a whole childhood of abuse and chaos and I can also recognise that horrible familiar feeling of dysfunction to the point that the nice decent guys seem like a rare breed. It’s like I’m always expecting men to turn into a (detail removed by Moderator) at some point down the line. I can’t trust people to be there for me anymore after all the domestic violence. I’ve been working on myself too, but when you’re doing it all alone all the time, it starts to grate. I’m still being stalked by my abusive ex and I can’t do anything to stop him apart from move house yet again. These people are so toxic, it’s so hard to shake off the longer lasting effects of their nasty abuse 🙁

[Funduro]

I have been getting weird anxiety dreams since I left my abuser. Tarantulas this morning and the other week it was one about his racist sexist mate stamping on my head. Lovely side effects these horrible people imprint on our souls…

[Funduro]

I wouldn’t feel bad for cheating on an abuser. They are incapable of love so they don’t deserve any loyalty in my opinion. You obviously were not getting any of your emotional needs met, which is a common trait of these abusive relationships. Or non relationships…they are more like transactions to the abuser….use, abuse then discard basically, that’s their game.

[Funduro]

One thing that stood out to me, that someone elelse just wrote above ‘this would be my life’.

I had a shock realisation in the same way,when I was literally getting suicidal thoughts from the stress his abuse was causing to my mental health.

I didn’t want a life like that, full of fear and rejection…why did I stay? Because I wanted to believe he could change…. biggest mistake thinking these robotic pattern repeating abusers could ever ever change.

They don’t change…have no regrets and keep safe from them.

Life will get better they say….I’m still waiting for that bit as I’m still being stalked…

[Funduro]

One thing that stood out to me, that someone elelse just wrote above ‘this would be my life’.

I had a shock realisation in the same way,when I was literally getting suicidal thoughts from the stress his abuse was causing to my mental health.

I didn’t want a life like that, full of fear and rejection…why did I stay? Because I wanted to believe he could change…. biggest mistake thinking these robotic pattern repeating abusers could ever ever change.

They don’t change…have no regrets and keep safe from them.

Life will get better they say….I’m still waiting for that bit as I’m still being stalked…

[Funduro]

My dad and both my brothers are abusive towards me so I’ve had to cut them all out. My dad cheated on my mum when she has four kids to him. He used to beat me as a young child then as I got older and smacked him back and hurt him, he stopped. Bully basically. One time he beat me that badly for basically nothing, I had red marks allover my neck and literally couldn’t see him for a year due to having PTSD.

Men get away with abuse easy in families as we are stuck with them… until we find a way to break free.

Abusive dad and bothers somehow normalised violence growing up…IE violence is the other side of love. This is utter rubbish. Violence to control women is disgusting and weak.

. isolated and live alone now, just to stop myself from being abused any further.

One thing I did was change my number because one of my brothers has been threatening to scatter my mum’s ashes without me. She died fairly recently and they are basically using the ashes as bait to get me to interact with them , so they can abuse me some more.

All sick and twisted men in my family I am afraid.

People with nice families have no idea what we ha e to endure, just because we were born women and not men.

I feel like I have quite a lot of hate now for most men because of their sense of entitlement to abuse women like they are just washing their hands.

I’m sick of just being abandoned because I won’t accept men’s pathetic weak control and abuse…

[Funduro]

It takes time (detail removed by Moderator)

I am in a small amount of debt now due to the ex rinsing all my resources but faking a relationship in order to do this to me.

(Detail removed by Moderator).

Women are still second class citizens, get paid less than men but we definitely work harder and get knocked every time we try to get a better position in life.

A huge proportion of men are bullies. It’s just the way of the world. A lot of them work in the police, which only feeds the trauma when we discover this.

(Detail removed by Moderator).

Hats off to the women who do this work, but there is something seriously wrong with a society which allows men to freely harrass and stalk their ex partners just because they used to be in some twisted fake abusive relationship.

They should not even be called relationship.

These people feed off our light and feminine energy and power.

They don’t want women to be seen or heard.

My ex used to lock me in the house once he knew I was leaving him.

These men are so pathetic and insecure to do these things to good decent women.

I use art to deal with trauma, and I am trying to make new positive connections with people who don’t say inappropriate things to me.

I am wiser now to the creepy sexism that infects our society. Wish I hadn’t had to go through having my self esteem drained off until I literally couldn’t even think straight.

Trauma bonding is the worst bit…it’s just so insipid…we miss the fake version of that person, the version they use to get women into their nasty trap.

Abusive men always appear perfect for us in the beginning so just take time to get to know people and don’t move in too quickly, nomatter how nice their house is etc etc.

I fell for this nasty piece of work as he faked being into the same things as me and he had a (detail removed by Moderator).

Little did I know he would try to steal (detail removed by Moderator) and lock them away from me as punishment for me not allowing him to treat me like a whore and a house slave.

Trauma literally is blocking me getting therapy which I think is so unfair. Because of that coward still stalking me, because the police didn’t do their job, I’m blocked from art therapy.

Yet again, white male privelidge and male violence is controlling my life and I’ve left that fool and ignore all his efforts to contact me. I even had to change my number…while he just carries on happy he got away with all the abuse I would imagine.

But who cares what these users think… just protect yourself from them.

Never look back because the abuse only ever gets worse (detail removed by Moderator).

 

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