Hi Hawthorn,
Thank you so so much for your response, it is honestly such a relief to hear someone else that has felt the way I do at the moment.
I have had therapy in the past, and I’m considering getting some more, but struggling to find a place longer than 6 weeks.
I guess today has just triggered so bad feelings of guilt and anxiety that I have been trying to bury. I’m not a bad person, and I consider myself a positive one, but all I can think of is how much I hate him, and how much I wish I could turn back time and report it. But it’s knowing the consequences if I had done that. It’s been a really hard day. But your words have definitely helped, and I will try to be kinder to myself and seek some more help. Your words really are reassuring!
Thank you again,
Lots of love xx