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    • #102510
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      thank you i am doing this im staying strong he is being nice now but i know him and i am noting everything down i really hope he would just do one

    • #102509
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      keep him out and away from your children please im doing the same right iw me and my child are locked down and he comes to window to say hi and things but we are over sometimes like the other day he came and was in a bad mood about me asking him to get our child something he broke my window called me terrible banes and threatened to kill me keep him away your not alone
      think of your children it will get worse

    • #99659
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Hello your not alone I am in the exact same situation as you now we’re not together but we are if that makes sense I’ve been very sick this week so I needed him to help with our little one big mistake because now he’s playing on it saying I’ve used him and what not so now I’m stuck with him for god knows how long I’m depressed crying and everything but at the same god damn time I feel bad because he continues to blame me and says I’ve pushed him away in a way I did I had 2 I wanna be me again happy go lucky cheerful friendly loving person I once was
      We will get there
      Remain calm the storm will pass

    • #99595
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Who do these men think they are it’s disgusting when u look back over what you’ve wrote now it’s no wonder why we are called survivors

    • #99574
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      I would say it is abuse 1 because your here and 2 because your not going out because it’s easier it’s almost like your not allowed I’m out of my abuse relationship but this is only the beginning stay in here and like camel said read others questions stories you will see similarities
      Also calling u names is abuse drink or not
      Xx

    • #99570
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Yeah my abuser wouldn’t spend time with my family he was above them apparently and got angry if people associated him with them
      He was a bit different towards the end giving maintenance for the little one and paying just the gas and electric bills well he had always paid the gas and electric and sometimes the internet he would always do things to make me question his abuse but when I write down his rules it’s clear I was being abused

    • #99556
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      now he is saying I was just using him and saying he’s stupid to let me because people men just used t use my as thieve slag b4 him and basically I’m not worth anything all because I said when I’m feeling better u can go and he said I bought shopping in case we go in lockdown (Coronavirus) he’s words don’t hurt but I bloody well hate myself because all I keep going over is have I done this have I been the abuser because I do explode sometimes lately I’m so angry around him I will be ok and I will get through this but when I don’t know I have so much love for each and everyone of you you will never know how much one of your replies brightens up my day and I’ve ordered myself the book why does he do that I think it’s high time I stop blaming myself because if I look back I never felt like this single or with someone

    • #98660
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Thanks needed to read this today but still in the is it me or him boat until I write it down it comes together

    • #98659
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Amazing keep your strength up glove done the best thing for you and your children x

    • #100441
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      hi quietgiraffe
      yes your right hes not talking to me right now only calling to talk to little one i am going to write down all the things he has done might take my mind of my breathing i used to suffer with ocd,healthy anxiety, panic attacks and they are all back since the lockdown i get up everyday and im fighting,for now he needs to get to the back of my mind ive been taking positive steps to make it real like called tax credit removed him im sorry your going through something like me i wouldnt wish that on anyone its scary how many women have and still are
      i wish u all the best with your outcome
      stay safe x

    • #99681
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Yeah I really need to go no contact
      He actually came home and took all the food he bought and a few other bits like shower gel because he bought a lot in case we couldn’t get things how can he do that fine don’t feed me but your child and he blamed me he actually found a way to blame me I’m not talking to him I am now ignoring him but I need to stay on here and speak to people because I am such a soft person I’m actually blaming myself thinking I must have really hurt his feelings for him to do that I’m ever so weak and all this illness has made my panic attacks come back right now I’m in such a terrible state of mind I can’t breath but I recognise it as anxiety not the virus
      I’ve deleted all mews apps in my phone because it does my mental health no good I’m petrified of my child becoming sick I think this will be a real test for me
      I’m not suicidal or anything but this will either make me or brake me
      Why the hell cant I be cold hearted like him
      Sorry for the rant I have nobody else

    • #99545
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Thanks ssid you have calmed me my LO is all I care about I just started a new job then this happens I know he is using this as an opportunity to try get back in but it won’t work I’m just not into him

    • #99544
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      I’ll try keep my mouth shut but this will be tough for me because I call out his abuse as it happens I’m glad this has happened though when he left I was heartbroken missed him now I want him out btw my child is a toddler

    • #99543
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      No there is no one I’ll manage he makes me sick and he has tried to get back with me I’m not though I’m so much happier alone

    • #98963
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Thanks KIP it’s been what (detail removed by moderator) days now and he’s being well normal just calling to talk about our child I did call him telling him how I felt but felt like he was adding to my guilt anyway I’m still heartbroken and want this adrenaline feeling to leave my chest I keep tearing up when I remember a good time just normal heartbreak really but feel it’s all my fault because a few years ago I spoke to my ex stupid thing to do I know but he holds it against me but yeah I just keep guilt tripping myself and I’m feeling embarrassed of myself that I’m u see (detail removed by moderator) getting legally divorced aswell but although I’m scared I know my child will get me through I just wanna feel better faster
      Thanks for replying kip
      X

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