I-Survived

[I-Survived]

Thank you for your lovely comment.
I have tried to do some exercises as you’ve suggested so far I don’t see much helping me but that’s just the way I am and the way I cope I guess..
I do truly hope we can all heal but I understand it is going to be a long journey

[I-Survived]

Yeah definitely I understand were you are coming from.
He’s definitely made an impact in how I am today and that I will never be able to forgive him..
He always made me feel like no one cared, that I didn’t deserve to even have a life. And part of me back then believed him as we all do during the time of the abuse. It drove me to (detail removed by Moderator) failed Susi*e attempts and I don’t want to get to that point again. Im more scared than anything else I need to be strong for my son.
He definitely didn’t brainwash Me and so far he is still in winning that makes me so angry.

[I-Survived]

Hey, I’ve spoken to the GP and in currently seeing a therapist. I think being told constantly that no one cares, that I should keep my mouth shut has truly stuck with me.

I’m happy I worked up enough courage to post on here because so many people can relate and we can help each other, and I’ve needed something like this for so long.

I have a son so he keeps me busy most of the time but it’s usually when he’s in bed I get all these thoughts.
I’ve taken up doing gel nails I’m teaching myself how to do them.. but then I always hear his voice in the background “who are you trying to impress”. You know silly things like that.
I truly hope I can move forward but it has been a really long time and I don’t seem to be getting better.

[I-Survived]

I’m sorry to hear that your eldest feels like that. It horrible when you get a trigger and you feel like you’re world is falling apart again. I hope they get the help they need

[I-Survived]

Thank you for your comment 🙂
I think getting caught up with your own mind can be more dangerous than good. I have been seeking help for (ptsd) and hopefully i can get into some sort of peace.
I don’t think it will ever get easier if i’m being honest i don’t have much faith in myself.
Even though i’f free i never feel like i was and this is coming up to (detail removed by Moderator) years

[I-Survived]

Thank you for the reply 🙂
i’m glad i ain’t the only person in the same situation it does feel like i’m going up and down alot and i would love to get some closure and i know that wont happen. I do get your part of missing alot of milestones i missed alot of good years because of my abuser and ill never get them back. I have more good days than bad days right now but a situation is coming up soon and i have a feeling I’m going to lose all control again.
I will try and hang in as much as i can, i hope i can do it 🙂

[I-Survived]

I’m still on a waiting list for someone to talk to me about ptsd sadly. Every doctors I’ve spoken to says it does sound like ptsd but finding help can be difficult sadly.
Thank you x

[I-Survived]

Yes definitely sorry for late reply.
I’m trying to channel the energy somewhere else instead of being in my head all the time, I’ve shouted I’ve screamed but I’m calm

[I-Survived]

Yeah, I used to ages ago write everything on a bit of paper and I burned them I was doing good for so long and all of a sudden it’s hut me maybe worse than before and I truly don’t understand why

[I-Survived]

I do feel comfortable talking here as so many of us has been through the same kind of situation.
I just hope I can finally said I made it

[I-Survived]

Yeah definitely! Back then I did used to in my head think about what I wanted to say to him and stand up for myself..only because the one time I did stand up for myself he got physical.. he’s left a very damaged person (in my eyes anyway) thought-out people have always called Me strong and I can get over anything but I don’t show it bothers me to the point people notice.
I really would like to say a few things to him and tell him he hasn’t broken me and he didn’t win . I’m truly fed up of letting him be apart of me still and continuing to control everything I do.
Therapists aren’t really my thing I hate telling people how I feel incase they look at me like I’m going insane I’m trying to open up more to then I just need to give it a chance

[I-Survived]

I’m glad you are telling your story 💙

[I-Survived]

I hope I can make a impact to one person it’s a long road we are all on and I hope we all find peace

[I-Survived]

Thank you for your comment 😊
I have a feeling all them years ago I did just put my feelings to a side and bottled everything up. I’m still waiting to talk to a therapist but hopefully it helps 🤞
I’ve always said I am a difficult person to “cope” with because that’s all I was told everyday and it’s truly stuck with me sadly x

[I-Survived]

Thank you for commenting.
I think sometimes to get some things of my chest helps just a bit. I’m still feeling low right now but I’m trying to cope with how I feel thank you

[I-Survived]

I needed that thank you 🥰 I need to work on not bottling my feelings inside and try and talk instead of becoming defensive. It’s just alot for someone to deal with I think with everyone we all have bad days and we all have great days 💙 I’m so happy to hear your healing

[I-Survived]

Thank you for your lovely comment 🥰 it’s been years and I think I’m just fed up feeling like I’m nothing but the person that was abused ( if that makes sense) I think I pushed my feeling under the rug for so long and because it’s all being brought back up it’s hurting me more this time around
But I don’t want to let him win anymore! I want to be happy and live my life easier said than done 🤦🏻‍♀️

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