Thanks, Kip.
I guessed that was the case. It feels as if a stopper has been pulled out of my body and, as you say, all that pent up energy and adrenalin, has finally been allowed to be released. I knew I was living on empty, emotionally and psychologically, for a very long time but only now am I realising the toll it has taken. My daughter told me the exact same thing, limiting myself to a few small achievements a day, and they can be as basic as bathing and eating. My counselling begins soon and while I know I have to do this, I’m aware it’s going to be a process of highs and lows.
I know there’s light at the end of the proverbial tunnel but I also know that all the damage that’s been accumulated over the years, and not dealt with, is not going to be processed and worked through overnight. It’s going to take time, a long time before I find myself again.
That’s it really, I don’t know who I am any more. I’m so broken and disconnected from all that has happened it feels as if it’s happening to somebody else, not me. I’ve got guilt, shame, and a whole bag of other feelings that have to be worked through. But I’m determined to get ME back. Thanks for listening x
