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31st December 2022 at 9:09 pm #153810MelonballsParticipant
Hope it’s everything you wish for, Watersprite xx
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4th October 2022 at 4:49 pm #150465MelonballsParticipant
Oh lovely….
Been there. Please please reach out to your gp. They can set wheels in motion for you.
Sending ((((massive hugs)))) and strength your way. You can do it xx
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3rd October 2022 at 8:46 pm #150426MelonballsParticipant
Hi there!
Can I suggest just reading back your first post?
“He has gone the full circle, back to being nice, saying he loves me, wants to make it work, but in reality isnt really doing anything different. All blame is on me, and if i stay it “cant go back to the way it was” by which he means sex. The last 6 months sex has been happening less and less because my body and mind cannot be near him, years of sexual coercion has killed my sex drive. However he has kept on and on about this, how he is hurt, how he is sexually frustrated, how he needs to be on a pedestal and feel loved. He keeps asking for a cuddle constantly, then trying to stick his tounge in my mouth. Gets in my bed and gropes me, puts his hand in my pants, asking for sex, when i tell him to stop he says “why?” and “i cant help it””
Where in that list has he considered your feelings? Have you noticed it’s all about what he wants, what he needs?
I signed a lease, bought furniture etc. Then had a major, major wobble. I’m the end I didn’t think about it, just got in the car and drove.
Wantstohelp has a good point. Just try one night. Who knows, it might turn into two, a week….
Whatever you decide, we’ve got your back xx
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30th September 2022 at 4:28 pm #150310MelonballsParticipant
Thank you TS!
I’m feeling much more myself again – all feisty and at’em! 😇😂
I’ve narrowed my search down to 4 holidays, and tonight I’m going to sit with a large glass of something nice and weigh them all up!
The Women’s Wellbeing Club is an offshoot of Andy’s Man Club. I found out about them from the social prescriber at the doctors. It’s structured, with 3 main serious questions and then two daft ones to end, and everyone has a turn. If you don’t want to say anything, you don’t have to. It is helpful, if you can learn not to take on everyone else’s feelings. I do struggle with that bit!!!
((((big hugs)))) xx
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30th September 2022 at 4:13 pm #150309MelonballsParticipant
Hi love!y! I’ve been wanting to reply all day, but have been at work myself!
I really feel for you!
Approach your manager again, and tell them that this is seriously affecting your mental health. They have a duty of care towards you, and by law, (equality at work act 2001), they have to ‘invetigate’.
Keep a log of all the times and dates things happen. I told my manager that I was recording the person on my phone. HR need to be told, too – unless she’s in that role, then it needs to be brought up with her manager.
I think as being survivors, we are more, I’ll say ‘attuned’. But this doesn’t mean to say it’s not happening. If you feel it – you feel it and you should not be made to carry it.
At the moment, I’m having great difficulty with convincing management that the bully is using intimidation tactics and does not need to walk past our room while making themselves known. They never walked past before a complaint was made. They’re escalating insidiuosly.
Your manager is happy with your work, and if you enjoy your job, don’t let an a*$£π0!£ ruin it. I left my home and marriage because of one, and I’ve vowed to myself, that I won’t let another ruin a job I really like.
If you want to message me, please do…. Maybe I can help, even if it’s just to back you up.
As we like to say in our work room….. Teeth and t!ts!!!
((((big hugs)))) xx -
18th June 2022 at 10:33 am #145579MelonballsParticipant
You have your pride and dignity. And you have the strength to have walked away.
Mutual ‘friends’ will always say they’ll never side, but more often then not they do. (Our mutual friends are edging on his side, so I tell them nothing now. To me, they’re just ‘pub’ buddies).
Is there anyone else going to this event you could go with? Even if it’s just to hold your head high, and shove two fingers up at the world?
Once you’ve found a momentum, however small, maybe you could find a common ground with your relative, and build on from there?
You have a fresh start and the world at your feet.
Hugs to you…. I really do hope you start feeling bigger, better and stronger soon xx
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21st November 2021 at 1:35 pm #134389MelonballsParticipant
It’s been awhile, but thanks @Auriel!
I keep my head down, cuz it’s what I’ve learned to do 😶
Keep my opinions to myself, etc….Think I’m slowly realising that a select few DO want to know, I’ve just got to believe them and believe in myself a bit more!
Luvnhugz to you xx
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2nd June 2021 at 10:34 am #126552MelonballsParticipant
Thank you, lovely!
Trying to be strong, but we all know how charming , read smarmy 😉, they are when they want something!
I’m going to chase the counseling service too, if I haven’t heard back by Friday lunchtime .
I’ve read briefly on trauma bonds, but will look further into it.
(((Hugs)))
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13th May 2021 at 8:30 pm #125886MelonballsParticipant
Hi lovely!
I think the more vocal they are, the less chance there is.
I know from experience, if you’re going to do it, you don’t say anything, you slink off quietly.Look after you. You are not responsible for others actions, thoughts or opinions.
Have a hug from me xx
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13th May 2021 at 8:19 pm #125885MelonballsParticipant
I like this!
After 4 days of debating should I??? , I’ve treated myself to some frivolous bits n bobs off t’interweb!! And I don’t have to hide them or justify me spending MY money, that I earned 💪💪💪 so shove that one up your jumper and smoke it 🤪😂
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9th March 2021 at 1:25 pm #122938MelonballsParticipant
((((((HUGS)))))) xx
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24th February 2021 at 8:49 pm #122320MelonballsParticipant
Thanks both💗 I’m absolutely done in. Been sneaking about all month, and running on adrenalin this week.
My time now. No more crap food, no more noise, no more tv unless I want to, listen to what music I want, and a bed to myself!
I won’t know myself 😁
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13th February 2021 at 5:56 pm #121642MelonballsParticipant
This so the second time I’ve read your post, Blue Skies. And I’m glad I found it again – you have clarified and justified what I’ve just posted about!
When I’m done doubting myself, I hope I can say and do something similar for someone else 💗💗
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26th January 2021 at 1:23 pm #120400MelonballsParticipant
Thanks Hawthorn! On the back of your reply, and a long chat to a work colleague, (who’s been through similar), I’m now waiting for a credit check to be done. Hopefully I’ll have the keys by the end of the month. There’s a bottle of red with my name on it, waiting to christen it!!🤞
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