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    • #98235
      minty
      Participant

      Agree with you Headspinning…No love songs, just upbeat dance tunes 🙂

    • #98225
      minty
      Participant

      SunshineRain Flower – I hear what you’re saying but there is stuff in there that would do damage to my kids if they had to read it for any reason. I will hang on for a little while longer but in the end it will have to go. It’s that closure thing again…I’m nearly there with it :).

      Headspinning – I do the staying awake and going over things, it does no good but you can’t help it. These men we all talk about need to get help for doing what they do to us. I’d block all contact with him or he will start the mind games. You have done the best thing in getting out and never feel guilty for that. Take him off social media as well, you don’t need to see it. Yes you will have good times, so did I, but they are few and far between. The bad outweigh the good. You will get there, as will all of us, keep talking here and get it all out, it works. I was sitting yesterday crying while typing but it helped me loads and today is a better day. My goal this year is to fill my diary with dates (not men) so I have things to look forward too. Keep your head held high, you have done nothing wrong :).

    • #98218
      minty
      Participant

      Thank you both, I have a list of things im going to do and it helps, especially when I can cross off things from said list. I used to keep a diary of the bad stuff that went on, my aim is to burn that diary as I don’t want to re-read things, to me now they have happened are in the past. Also If anything happened to me I wouldn’t want my family seeing it. I can’t do it just yet but its on my list to do. I feel better today and look forward to Monday when im back at work.

    • #98199
      minty
      Participant

      Thank you SunshineRain Flower for your kind words. I’ts horrible to go through but I realise as well it’s a kinda grieving process. I sit and wish for the time to go by faster so it won’t hurt so much. I try and keep busy but sometimes it just creeps up on you for no reason. It helps to talk to others here though, I don’t feel so totally alone :).

    • #97969
      minty
      Participant

      Hi Fudgecake,

      I lost a stone and a half and still losing it. The mental stress and abuse takes it toll I think for most people. Even though I left my ex a few months back, I still don’t eat properly. Mostly I don’t enjoy my food, I just eat because I know I have to.

    • #97791
      minty
      Participant

      Chocolatebun, Your’re not alone, my ex was constantly doing this to me. It was usually about his debts and family. Looking back I don’t know why I felt guilty as it was really nothing to do with me. I ended up paying a lot of his debts off, stupid now I know, but when your’re in that situation you would do anything to make it right again and make him “like you again”. I stuck up for myself and even thought I was right, he made me feel I was wrong.

    • #97567
      minty
      Participant

      Hi ladies

      There seems to be a theme here. I wonder why men feel the need to treat us like this? When we first meet them we are what we are and that’s what the attraction was in the first place. Yet the wind us in and we fall hook line and sinker and then they begin their work to destroy that person. Maybe it’s part jealousy that they see a confidant woman and can’t cope with it. I don’t know, but we are the stronger one ladies…

    • #97516
      minty
      Participant

      Landy…Before I met him I was so confident, sassy, had a lust for life. He sapped all that and left me a quivering mess. Even now I still love him but I am certainly not going back to that. That love will die in time but also I hate him for what he has done to me, but I think I am in a better place than he ever will be and I will be that sassy woman again one day.

      He will never change

      Landy, good on you for getting out and are surviving, my therapist said one day at a time and he’s right

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