Misti

[Misti]

Thankyou all. It’s so right. I cry my eyes out if anyone is even slightly nice to me. One day at a time. Will definitely check that charity out

[Misti]

Hi well done for speaking out. Such a difficult position for you. Do try and reach out for some support. I’ve been on my own (detail removed by Moderator) weeks now. The hardest thing to do but the relief of not walking on egg shells all the time is immense. Although you feel on your own you are not. Big hugs xxx

[Misti]

It’s (detail removed by Moderator) weeks this (detail removed by Moderator) since I’ve been on my own. He was charged with a community order but I got a (detail removed by Moderator) restraining order so he can not contact me and he has left me alone. I became single, homeless and made redundant all in the same week.
Start a new job on (detail removed by Moderator), got a house which is lovely just been left with loads of debt in my name and struggling to deal with that

I’m feeling loads better just shocked at how much I don’t know myself. Someone asked me what films do I like and I said action. That’s what he liked. Making decisions for me is weird and strange and taking some getting used to

Part of me loves being on my own. No walking on egg shells no stressing about what’s going to happen and part of me just wants to be back in the relationship. Lock down does not help. 1 day at a time. All I can do.

The weirdest thing is I feel like my emotions have gone. Either I just break down and cry or I feel nothing. Can’t describe it. I feel so damaged which really annoys me. I just want to be ok.

[Misti]

Hi
Hope you are ok
I have just read your post and am on the other side Soo difficult to get out and it’s not easy when you do but keep going xxx

[Misti]

Thankyou. It’s (detail removed by Moderator) today since the police took him out in handcuffs. I am proud of myself for not putting up with it this time. (As I stayed (detail removed by Moderator) years in my last marriage with an abusive man. )
But I still love him and feel sorry for him. My emotions are all over the place too. Just 1 day at a time and keep going. This is really helpful just to know I’m not on my own. I just can’t stop crying but I know it’s better to get it out. I will use victim support. Thankyou xx

[Misti]

Thankyou all. Really helps to hear I’m not on my own. Will look up the programme and book xx

[Misti]

Thanks. It’s like you say just so super embarrassing. I guess that makes sense that they think we will put up with it and to be honest I did at first. It just creeped in We were only together (detail removed by Moderator) and so nice at first.

It took me (detail removed by Moderator) years to get out the first time and I still find myself feeling sorry for him.

One day at a time is all I will do right now – just got to find me right now.

Hope you are ok too.

[Misti]

It was rented and I had moved to be near his home town etc. Moved back to near my family so had to give up the house. Thankyou though. I have had some legal advice

[Misti]

It was (detail removed by moderator) that I phoned the police after he had hit me and I’ve not seen him again. I’ve fled from the house. Made myself homeless. Living at my sons and in debt as he used my credit. And I’m still feeling sorry for him. I’m also crying all the time. Can’t sleep so got some anti depressants from the doctors. (Detail removed by moderator) I left an (detail removed by moderator) abusive marriage and on the rebound jumped into a new relationship. He said he would never hit or touch a woman. I feel so stupid and like I have let everyone down. Myself my kids. Do I have punch me on my forehead.

[Misti]

Just read the messages and oh my goodness I have just split from an (detail removed by moderator) year abusive relationship and I know the abuse started from the beginning and all I did was make excuses for him. I got sorry it won’t happen again and I am going to change and I love you and I believed him over and over again. Every day it was the same and I made excuses for him.
I was going to leave him a hundred times but always felt sorry for him and knew I could fix him He became my project to make him better.
We went to counselling on several occasions He was so nice to everyone else. Said all the right things Nothing changed and I still knew I could make him better and he hurt me physically and emotionally but I could fix him so I forgave him
So now I feel relieved he’s gone but scared of being on my own. I have cut off all ties and will have no contact with him at all

It’s only (detail removed by moderator) and my sons ( not his) are all waiting for when I go back to him – not nastily but because they have heard this 100 times

I just feel like a total idiot. It’s like I’ve opened my eyes for the first time in (detail removed by moderator) years and see the truth

I keep just asking why.how could anyone do that to a person and hurt them so bad. I just feel guilty for what I have put up with and put my kids through.
I felt strong for the first few days and now I just can’t stop crying.

I guess it’s one day at a time. Day (detail removed by moderator) today

[Misti]

Hi
I’m new to the group and this is the first time I have posted anything

I have just read your message and can relate to you so much.

However (detail removed by moderator) I will have been married to my husband for (detail removed by moderator) and everything started at the beginning of the relationship.

I thought he really loved me and I gave him everything of me that I had.
The aggression, the lying all started in the first 6 months but he had childhood issues , as did we both, but I thought I could help him.

It has crippled every part of me and I’m still in the relationship but I think his feelings towards me are need like a mother although I still passionately love him.

Listen to these ladies that are supporting you and do this for you as you deserve more xxx

I was punched in the head by him a few months ago and ended up breaking down at work . He has a domestic abuse support worker and says he wants to change but the truth is he says what he thinks people want to hear. Which is very cruel

I’m only just coming to terms with the realisation of the abusive relationship I am in and it hurts so much. I feel so helpless and there’s a part of me that wants him to change so much and love me like I want to be loved. I think I’m in love with a dream not this man

I have been stepping back and observing his behaviour and coming to terms with how selfish he is – he only cares about himself

Hope this helps a little bit – hugs xxx

[Author]

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