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    • #121271
      oaktree
      Participant

      I just think it’s not fair to berate someone for hours for saying no, and not letting them sleep

    • #121039
      oaktree
      Participant

      The counselling, and all other channels, have all been about me being able to help him, I need to understand his physical illness better, I need to understand his mental illness better – because if I do then I will let him off, I will put up with it, because I will realise its not his fault.

      Ive not read that book, but I have seen it mentioned a few times, to I am going to see if I can get a copy.

      It is strange to see him send the email to the counsellor complaining, usually everything is directed at me, or random anonymous people like shop staff.

    • #120915
      oaktree
      Participant

      Thanks Lisa, I tried a few times and got no reply after a few hours. But in the end I managed to get through to my local IDAS and they are helping me

    • #120860
      oaktree
      Participant

      they are sending me a door jammer with an alarm so i can put that under a door if i need to hide in a room. and they can assign me an outreach worker

    • #120821
      oaktree
      Participant

      Does anyone know how long it normally takes for you to get an answer on the WA live chat? It says average wait is 25mns, but I’ve had it open over an hour…..

    • #120820
      oaktree
      Participant

      I have reverted back to trying to appease him. I let him touch me, I join in. And he is being nice, he made me breakfast in bed (though afterwards told me off for it because I am horrible for expecting him to do that), he de-iced the car for me before I can out to work.
      Its just so much easier to go along with it. Hes not lost it completely now all weekend…

    • #120783
      oaktree
      Participant

      That’s it, he blames me, but at the same time says I’m the only one that can help him get better. He doesn’t have a big support network of friends, and I have suggested people he can talk to, friends, family, helplines, but he says I’m his wife and should be supporting him

    • #120768
      oaktree
      Participant

      Thanks everyone.

      I’m not sure who to turn to next for help… the GP knows, from what you say Relate will make it worse…. I don’t know what to do

    • #120715
      oaktree
      Participant

      Hi KIP, yes before (detail removed by Moderator) I stood up for myself and threatened to leave, which is when he went. He says he’s suffered for the past (detail removed by Moderator) years (all the time I have said he has been angry and aggressive), but that he’s been ignoring it. So now he’s gone to the doctors and got in touch with relate for counselling, and it generally desperately trying to save the marriage (except when he’s shouted and me and calling me names……but that’s not him, that’s the illness…)

    • #120710
      oaktree
      Participant

      He’s on (detail removed by Moderator), looks fairly standard I think. I don’t think he’s getting cut, the online sessions are like a pre recorded lesson, not interactive

    • #120705
      oaktree
      Participant

      He works, he’s managing that.

      I am the cause of the depression and anxiety…

    • #120702
      oaktree
      Participant

      KIP
      I haven’t been to the docs with him, but he has been prescribed stuff. He is doing some online sessions on things like coping mechanisms starting (detail removed by Moderator).
      I also called the GP with my concerns but they put that on my notes not his, as he is allowed to see his own records.

      It has made me think though about these anxiety/panic attacks though…they are always at home, behind closed doors, and in front of me. I’d never really noted that before

    • #120689
      oaktree
      Participant

      Its always at home – always…

    • #120566
      oaktree
      Participant

      I don’t want to stay in the relationship, but I find it difficult to leave someone that is ill…
      He has been the driver to go to counselling, there are individual sessions so i will hopefully get my points across. he hasnt admitted anything to them, just to me. He questions me all the time, about whether he is scaring me, or if I think he is abusing me ‘right now’…..and he accuses me of having an affair all the time…how would I even do that in lockdown!
      He says sorry a lot, but not really asking how I am….he just seems to feel sorry for himself

    • #80989
      oaktree
      Participant

      Thank you – I do indeed live with a grumpy troll at times. Sometimes it would be possible for me to share my thoughts, but not right now. I tried last night but he didn’t take it well. it just makes me so sad, I cried myself to sleep but he says thats manipulative…is he right?

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