orchid7

[orchid7]

Hi Lisa thank you for your response I will get into contact with them thank you

[orchid7]

I blocked everyone on everything and deleted all social media so there would’ve been no way 🙁 I blocked due to him trying to reach out through them, but now I feel extremely guilty x

[orchid7]

Agree about speaking to gp but if you don’t feel quite ready to take prescribed medication, Kalms one a day are really helpful and lots of people really get on with them they are herbal xx

[orchid7]

I am sorry to hear what you are going through, the pain they cause us is horrific. Just try and concentrate on the fact that you have not go to do it anymore. You don’t have to worry about him and other women, you are free from that. Unfortunately they will have to be worrying about all that now. Focus on you and your recovery and try and detach from him for now. Can you limit your contact with him or get a third party to help. Focus on your new life not all the horrible twistedness of being with him xx I agree that looking for someone is definitely a no go for a long while, but I used to list out the bad qualities he has vs the qualities I would want from someone x helped me to create nice fake person in my head to take the focus off off him x

[orchid7]

Hello, I too agree that it would be damaging for your recovery and closure just is not something they will give. I recently broke no contact with my ex and it was Mr nice guy, nasty, gaslighting, then apologies and then the I love you! Then accusing me of playing games … it left my head in a spin tbh and wishing I never did it x even started to doubt whether it was my fault, after all this time since leaving ! x no contact is the best healer xx stay strong xx

[orchid7]

Hello thank you for your message. You’re right all I keep thinking is you don’t wanna ignore your gut again like last time and I think something is wrong x it has gone quite quickly and it does seem to be from his side xx I don’t think of him and think ‘yes you are definitely safe’, there’s lots of doubts xx thank you all I think I’ll go ahead with calling it off xx

[orchid7]

Thank you xxx

[orchid7]

Thank you for your reply x I do enjoy talking to him but I feel like it’s all happened really fast and I’m not really comfortable with how much we talk but I haven’t stopped it either which worries me. But then my friend says it is exciting to talk a lot at the beginning of a relationship. He has expressed some positive views about another male who is extremely misogynistic too. He has also said some things about how he prefers women’s appearance to be. He has said 1 thing about not telling my family about one of his habits. A couple of times I have asked to speak in a few days or weeks and he still contacts. There are other things too I have lost track xx

[orchid7]

Hi StrongLife, thank you for your message. It’s just so unfair isn’t it x

[orchid7]

Hello thank you yes I am very worried about this, about the things he could have said to them about me, I’m sure like you said it probably started a long time before I realised xx and not sure I want to risk getting a bad reaction from them xx thank you x

[orchid7]

Hi alonewolf thank you for your reply, thank you for saying that about him being the cause because I’m starting to feel like it’s my fault, they know what he did to me so I am hoping that’s enough for them to understand why I left x thank you xx

[orchid7]

Hi shygirl, I am really sorry I did not see this. I am unsure why I didn’t get the notification. A couple of months have passed since I wrote that post and I did speak to a counselor and it did open up the grieving process. It took a while to come, as I kept battling against it, but it’s been coming out gradually since. Some weeks I have cried everyday. It felt good in a way, because it felt like I was feeling, so I’m hoping it’s another step to moving on xx but it’s been tricky balance grief with no contacting him xx

[orchid7]

Thank you for your reply and for the recommendation I will definitely give it a try xx thank you xx

[orchid7]

Hello thank you for your response and kind words xx when you say you take it as another layer to deal with, do you mean to grieve or to remind yourself of the abuse and the reality? I’m struggling because I don’t want to stop myself grieving as I feel I shoved this down for too long, but I also don’t want to forget the bad things and what I have learnt about abuse xx and it’s hard to do the two at the same time xx thank you xx

[orchid7]

Hi Bananaboat thank you for your reply that it is really useful way to see it xx the trigger seems to be him constantly contacting me and then I break 🙁 I am speaking to my local da about this xx thank u x

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