Peonylove

[Peonylove]

Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s very difficult to break the cycle and go no contact. Block him again if he’s being mean to you, you don’t deserve that. But if you can’t, again don’t be hard on yourself. Try to ignore him if you can and walk away. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s horrible. But you deserve better, please believe that. I know it’s hard. We’re all here to support you.

[Peonylove]

I feel this Wispatea, not to the same extent of your situation, but the reaching out part. It’s so difficult. The only advice I can offer is to resist, resist, resist and distract yourself. Put your phone away, read a book, go for a walk, anything to break the cycle in your mind. Just do your best, that’s all you can do xx

[Peonylove]

Hello, welcome. I’m new too and everyone is lovely with great advice and support. Take your time and go easy on yourself xx

[Peonylove]

I’ve caved and sent him a text wishing him well (detail removed by Moderator). I feel so stupid, what am I thinking? I doubt I’ll get the response I want so it’ll make me worse than I already. Why is this so hard?

[Peonylove]

Love this, good for you! Enjoy the positive moments. I hope to be where you are soon, but I’m at the early stages of getting out and struggling to break the trauma bonding cycle. But I know it’ll be fine in the end xx

[Peonylove]

Take your time and do what’s best for you. But know that you deserve better and you’re worth more.xx

[Peonylove]

So I’ve managed to resist contacting him and haven’t cried for two days. Spent last night with a good friend who helped me see what’s been going on and I need to move on. She made me block and delete him but of course I still have his number and have added him again. I can’t help myself. I’m leaving myself open to him contacting me, I don’t know why. I guess I just want to know he still wants me and thinks about me. Then I’ll know this whole experience meant something to him. I’ve still to sort out the holiday which I might do today or over the weekend.

Hard to believe this time last week we were still together. How quickly things can change can’t they?

[Peonylove]

Thanks, I’m trying that approach. He hasn’t blocked me at all, just deleted me or removed his pic to get me to react. I need to stay strong. I’m going to call holiday company tomorrow to check what my options are. I don’t want to go to the place we’ve booked so hopefully I can change destination. I just need to take it one step at a time. Thank you @The Duchess, I appreciate your words xx

[Peonylove]

Hi Carmilla, why don’t you try doing the Freedom Programme online? I’m having to do it that way as it’s not run in my area either. I’d rather go to a group too but it’s just not an option and I need to do something. Good luck, I hope you find some support even just through this forum xx

[Peonylove]

@calendula no need to be sorry, we’re all figuring this out and it’s tough. You were simply sharing your experience and I appreciate that xx

[Peonylove]

Oh no, please don’t be upset. You did your best at the time and I’m sure the dog is now in a loving and happy home. I get what you’re saying. Thankfully I can’t do anything about getting a dog just now so maybe the idea will fall by the wayside

[Peonylove]

Thank you for your lovely words. I hope you’re well today xx

[Peonylove]

Hi Wants To Help and thank you for your thoughtful reply, it really resonated with me.

He replied to my message (detail removed by Moderator) and I’ve left it there. He’s in no mood to talk and I feel like he hates me right now. That’s hard for me to take. You’re right, I don’t want the relationship to end, just the abuse and rollercoaster to stop. I feel so sad I’ve lost him and the future we had to look forward to. I guess that’s just natural in any breakup.

As for the puppy, yes it’s probably not the right time to get one so I’m sitting on it for a while. Perhaps later in the summer when the dust has settled a little. I’ve wanted one for a while but agree it’s perhaps too soon.

The final thing outstanding between us is (detail removed by Moderator). I really don’t know what to do. Do I contact him to see if he wants to cancel (detail removed by Moderator), or do I write it off?

Victim to victor…I love that ❤️

[Peonylove]

Thanks for your support Duchess. I’m going to do my best to resist contact over the next day or two, I need to do it for my own self respect albeit that’s in the gutter just now. I’m downloaded a few books and signed up to the Freedom Programme. I really don’t think my friends understand but my mum does as she was abused by my dad. She’s sympathetic but equally very worried and wants me to be strong, I just don’t think I’m there yet. On a lighter note I’m thinking about getting a puppy, though it maybe too soon just now. It’s been a nice distraction looking at them though 😊

[Peonylove]

Hi Bananaboat, and thank you. Yes I need to take off the rose tinted glasses. It’s so hard to do but hopefully time will help. I do want to reach out to him today 😔

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