PercyPooper

[PercyPooper]

He there V, I totally understand how you are feeling right now. I feel desperately lonely and deprived of any affection or love. I don’t even feel like anyone can actually see me when I’m at home, just this invisible person that does all the cooking for Christmas and he literally leaves the table like he is in a restaurant, didn’t even say if he liked it or not let alone a thank you. I agree with fizzylem take a step back and look at the picture from a far, you can do this.

[PercyPooper]

I totally understand how you feel. I sometimes think that I’m making all of this up and I should shut up and just go back to normal. It’s like I get a spark of energy that motivates me to leave and not stand for being treated like this and then I’m trampled on and the spark goes out and the cycle begins again. Check out the cycle of abuse.

[PercyPooper]

Just had a moment that has stopped me in my tracks. I am even more convinced I’m being watched or listened to because there is no way at all that my OH could of known about something without being with me, and yet he seemed to know every detail.

[PercyPooper]

Yet again he is working away from home (detail removed by moderator) and I really need to go home which is a number of hours drive to help family members with something I specialise in and he told me he would be away (detail removed by moderator). He is now driving back home (detail removed by moderator) now I have cancelled plans again. So predictable.

[PercyPooper]

Wow KIP such amazing words and so very true. Thank you for being so honest. Your completely right with everything you said and deep down I already know. I’m not afraid to be alone he works away most of the time so I’m practically a single parent and can manage perfectly well but I have this invisible ring around me and I can’t break it.

[PercyPooper]

Yes I have a fire TV and tablet with alexa. It could of been a coincidence but my child literally walked in and phone rang and then I think back 🤔. But how could that be possible with Alexa?

[PercyPooper]

Thanks everyone for your support xx

[PercyPooper]

Funnily enough, my child came home and as soon as he walked through the door my phone rang and he wanted to talk to him???

[PercyPooper]

I feel your pain Catjam. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel like anymore. I haven’t been loved or been close to my OH for so many years that now this is just the norm. I can’t remember how many years it is since I had a passionate kiss. So I totally understand feeling dead inside. Stay strong hun. Xx

[PercyPooper]

Thank you so much KIP I really do feel paranoid and not just about that. He goes away to work and will just turn up home and I know that sounds silly because this is his home and why shouldn’t he just be able to come home but its they way he does it and he will just walk in and scare the c**p out of me!, I just always feel on edge and I am not even doing anything wrong! Or if me and my son are out he will just appear?? It just really freaks me out. Thanks for the advice I did have a little look online at what sort of things are available like cameras etc, I just feel completely insane and you hit the nail on the head when you said “paranoid”.

[PercyPooper]

It’s my parents…. And they live (detail removed by moderator) miles away. Historically he normally puts some problem in the way. Last time I saw them he was out and I just went.

[PercyPooper]

Thank you IWMB, I keep reading peoples stories and realise how many incidents I had forgotten about. The mind is a powerful thing isn’t it….? The name calling is what I will never forget, how can you speak to someone that you love with such spite and hate and yet want to have sex with them? If I have so disgusting to him why would he want to be close to me like that. Twisted.

My OH only really cares about what other people see, the big house, expensive cars, toys in the garage and a perfect lifestyle. People often remark as to how lucky I am and how lovely my house is, if only they really knew the truth.

[PercyPooper]

Oh my word Hunky Dory, what you just described is my OH. I suffer from migraines for periods of weeks and it puts me in bed. He never ever asks if I am ok or brings me anything to help and guess what the root cause of a migraine is….STRESS!

[PercyPooper]

Hi Queenmaeve thanks for your message, my body has never been right since I had our child, I think we can all relate to body issues after a baby, and I have put on so much weight which has kind of evened out now as medication for thyroid malfunction has helped but being called “fatty” does not help one bit. xx

[PercyPooper]

Hi Fizzylem, thanks for your supportive words. Yes he is the father of my child and he is a brilliant father I would never take that away from him nor would I ever ever bad mouth him to our son I am trying to protect him from shattering his image of his perfect daddy. When he does work he works abroad so I do get respite from him but as soon as I know he is coming home (thats if he tells me) I feel so tense. He does have a habit of just arriving and not saying he was coming home, I do not know what he thinks I get up to when hes away to catch me out!!!

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