Purplecupcake

[Purplecupcake]

Hi, breadandRoses

Sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling emotionally, it sounds like you’re going through a tough time.

I’ve done a few somatic sessions with my counsellor and found it extremely helpful. Although it can be difficult feeling vulnerable, and speaking about traumatic events. My counsellor never pushed me to speak about anything I wasn’t comfortable with, I never had to disclose any details about what happened unless I wanted to. It was mostly focused on my emotions at that moment in time, I’m not sure if other counsellors do it differently, but for me it wasn’t like reliving the experience, It was more like I was watching the event.

Yes, this does work for multiple events, not just one life changing event. In my sessions, my counsellor not only asked how I was feeling during these moments, but also asked me if there are any other times in my life I have felt that way, allowing me to explore other events that have happened, and also this way i was able to unlock new memories that I had subconsciously suppressed.

It isn’t easy opening up about these sort of things, especially if it is a complete stranger. I’m not sure if there is an easy way to heal from trauma or abuse, but not healing could potentially result in a lifetime of emotional psychological and physical pain. That’s not to say that somatic therapy is for everyone, but I hope this answers a few of the questions that you had. I do think a lot of it depends on the individual therapist or counsellor and finding someone who works well for you.

[Purplecupcake]

I used to think that too! My partner has never been abusive physically but there were times I wish he was just so I would have a good enough excuse to leave. He has hooked me in with good behaviour only to change back again many times. One day it just suddenly clicked that I deserve to be happy, not being happy is enough of a reason to leave, even if it was a healthy relationship with a great guy, If your not happy in a relationship then you are allowed to end it. I know it’s not as simple as just leaving when the relationship becomes abusive (I am still with my partner, still trying to get out) but on the days when he is extra nice and I am uncertain, I just remind myself that it’s ok to leave any situation, relationship, or friendship that makes me unhappy.

[Purplecupcake]

Don’t apologise Eyesopening, it’s really good to read your story and helps me to get perspective.my partner used to gaslight me just after my baby was born. He would say he didn’t sleep because baby was up all night crying despite that I woke up several times in the night to feed the baby who didn’t cry at all at night. He would tell (removed by moderator) he needed to leave work early because I could handle two children. He would tell me that our baby is dying, tried to force me into formula feeding despite having agreed that I would breastfeed, then yelling saying that my breastmilk is killing our child. Basically everything that made me out to be a terrible mum, this did stop after a few weeks when baby was getting regular check ups and weigh ins with the Heath visitor, as this kind of proved that the baby was healthy.

I also can relate to what BananaBoat said about empty promises too. I’ve noticed everytime I raise the subject of money it’s always a case of “just wait until after …” or “it’ll be different when…” in fact this is what first alerted me that it’s possibly abuse as he promised “things will be different after the baby is born” so I waited, struggled through my pregnancy only to be told after “just wait until … happens” I then thought back and traced these excuses all the way back nearly two years, when he borrowed (removed by moderator). I am still waiting for him to pay them back and feel awkward at family gatherings now because I know we owe money.

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