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    • #22179
      Ribbon
      Participant

      Thank you so much for all your support but I seemed to have been reeled back in. I hate myself and feel terrible.
      I just couldn’t handle the guilt and pressure I was feeling from him.
      I know he will slip up soon and I will find out he is upto something again so I never let my barrier up ever now.
      I just don’t know what to do as now I feel like I’m the unstable one ;'(

    • #21585
      Ribbon
      Participant

      I went back to him for a weekend as he made me feel special again and made me feel sorry for him.
      But again he has completely twisted everything again so that things are my fault and accusing me of things I don’t think or feel or done…..he is good at that. So have left again!! But I feel bad now as seem to keep bouncing all over the place as if I don’t respond to him in the way he wants he starts to get really nasty and threatening in text!! Why can’t he just understand its over and will never work between us :'(

    • #20562
      Ribbon
      Participant

      Hi
      I know exactly how you feel hunni….it’s such a strange feeling. I’m going through the same thing. I keep going over old abusive messeges to keep reminding me of what he used to do and how he used to make me feel.
      He is soooo nasty to me but he also can be soooo loving which makes me love him and want him back again. I miss him and it’s hard not to give in….I feel a sense of guilt to. Which I find difficult.
      If you read up about ‘ trauma bonding’ it’s interesting as you may have some of that too.
      Wishing you well….and hope that helps xxxx

    • #20542
      Ribbon
      Participant

      Hi
      Thank you Ayanna. I never let him move back in after the first time he cheated. Which he blames me for!! He keeps saying to me why didn’t I love him I’m not a good wife because I listen to everyone else but him.
      I have finessed it with him this week when I saw one of his accounts with other women who he is calling them his (detail removed by Moderator)! ! I felt sick and when I confronted him he said he was trying to make me jealous.
      Now I have told him I want no contact he is being extra nice and saying I need to start acting like a good wife and being a good wife and work together to fix it.
      But I don’t want to so I’m not txting him back. Which then makes him turn the guilt onto me and makes me feel sorry for him and think, perhaps it is me and it’s not that bad.
      He calls me names and gets very personal. He’s so scary when he shouts and gets in my head but why do I miss him?? :'( I feel awful but putting on a brave face xx

    • #20421
      Ribbon
      Participant

      Hi
      I am in the same situation as you it’s a very emotionally draining situation to be in. I think because well with my ex partner he could and can be so extreme towards me. He’s either really really lovely ( which makes it harder) or extremely nasty and abusive towards me ( which makes me understand why I am leaving him).
      But being on this forum and listening to other stories helps me and brings comfort that I am not alone x

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