Thank you all, I really appreciate your responses & the support.
I never thought about him betraying my trust before Auriel, isn’t that mad? It’s so blindingly obvious. When I think about it it hurts so much, I think because he blamed me or my shortcomings for the affairs I just blamed myself too. I wasn’t enough so of course he would look elsewhere, who could blame him. I thought I was the only person who really got him & that’s why he kept coming back. One time we’d been separated for a couple of months & I was really getting myself together I didn’t want to go back to him but he just didn’t give up. I remember feeling so sad when I moved back in I don’t think I really wanted to but I still did it, it was as if I had no choice. I got pregnant not long after, despite him continuing to have an affair, I never left again, the next time we separated it was his decision.
I was on my own with my daughter for so many years after he left, just waiting for him, comparing every man to him, all falling short. When he married it broke my heart I really thought he would be back. I tried to be friends just to keep him in my life. Not seeing him at all is the only way I can cope. I feel it’s a bit like an addiction. For a while now my counsellor has been recommending I read ‘Women who Love too much’ Has anyone read it? Or are there any other books you’d suggest.
Thank you all again
<3
