Spices 101

[Spices 101]

Hi, He didn’t open the bank account for me to use but is a way of him fiddling tax as I’m a non tax payer. It’s an old fashioned building society account with a book so I’ve basically “kidnapped” the book in case I need to escape, at least I’d then have that money to set me up if and when I leave. He’s not noticed that it’s missing yet. I can’t get the books you mention as he has access to my Amazon account so that would just antagonise him further. Maybe when the libraries open I can order them discreetly. We have spoken lately about things and it basically just comes down to his fear of losing me, the way he doesn’t like me going out alone or without him. I’m getting confused again. Xxxxx

[Spices 101]

Hi,
He always planned on retiring early he gets a good works pension. I was having health issues so it seemed the right thing at the time, (detail removed by Moderator) operations have now sorted my problems out so I’m in full health apart from arthritis. I’m in my (detail removed by Moderator) so getting a job would be quite hard-if he would even let me take a job, he won’t let me visit friends and family alone so going out each day to work would be a big no no. I have not been allowed see friends for years, the last time (detail removed by Moderator) years ago when he insisted on taking me, hanging around for me and driving me home. He tends to make it difficult for my family to visit, he shouted at one of my sons last time he came and shouted at my grandson and upset my daughter the last time they visited. I’m not allowed outside interests he says if a couple love each other they shouldn’t need others. Not letting me drive is all because he’s overprotective he doesn’t want me to die in an accident. I’m like a prisoner, Covid hasn’t helped but I’m going to try to push boundaries when lockdown ends. Thanks for replying. X

[Spices 101]

Thanks so much for replying to me, it means a lot and I will remember that about my cat when I’m ready to go. Thank you and have a lovely day. X

[Spices 101]

Hi thank you for your reply, It means so much for me to realise that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I can escape these invisible chains that I’m wearing. Can I ask where you went when you left, the thing I worry about is my cat, if I end up in a refuge I can’t take my cat with me. Thanks so much for replying to my post.

[Spices 101]

Thanks so much for replying to my post. It means so much to know that others have experienced similar things and got through it. It makes me realise that there is light at the other end of the tunnel. Your experiences sound similar to mine but also much different to my experiences as what I’m going through has been very subtle. My husband is not violent but controls me through limiting my freedom under the guise of loving me so much that he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to me. It’s stifling and I now realise that my life has changed and I’ve changed from being an independent, social person to being chained to him by invisible chains with my independence slowly taken away. I’m not going to put up with it though, because when lockdown ends I’m going start pushing the boundaries more and more, going out alone whenever I wish.

[Spices 101]

Thanks so much for your reply it helps a lot to realise that I’m not the only person experience such things. My husband has drip fed me so much over the years that I’ve not realised until recently that what I was experiencing even had a name. He doesn’t see it as controlling he sees it as looking after me and keeping me from harm. I realise now that is very patronising and I’m not going to put up with it when the lockdown ends I’m going to test the waters and push my boundaries by insisting that he lets me go out alone to see family and friends.

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